Summer, inflations, and lay-offs. This has been the year that many of us in tech have had to move, which has caused many of us to lose our “job besties”. When this happens, it is common to think about whether it is also time for you to move on. In this article, we go through the pros and cons as well as strategies for how to reason when your friends or best friend start moving at work.
Acknowledge your feelings
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Good coworkers are one of the biggest reasons why we stay and leave workplaces. It’s natural to experience a range of emotions when your best friend leaves the workplace. Allow yourself to grieve the loss and acknowledge any sadness or loneliness you may feel. Recognizing and accepting your feelings is an important step in moving forward. If possible, also raise this with your employer, if this makes you feel unmotivated.
Remember, just because your best friend leaves doesn’t mean your friendship has to end. Make a conscious effort to stay in touch and maintain regular communication outside of the workplace. Suggest a meeting outside of work, and create a bond outside of the workplace as well. Talk about what your friend meant to you in the workplace and acknowledge your loss.
Separate work and personal life
While it’s wonderful to have a close friend at work, it’s important to maintain a distinction between personal and professional relationships. Your friendship may have been a product of your work experience, but it should not be the sole determining factor in your personal career goals.
People will always come and go, and workplaces change frequently. If you mix too many private feelings into the workplace, it can lead to you giving off an unstable impression in your work role. Employers generally prefer to see stability and maturity in their employees. Leaving a job should be a well thought out decision based on overall factors, rather than the departure of a friend.
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If you are looking for a new job, you should therefore not mention that you are doing this because your friend has quit or had to resign, but that you are looking for new career challenges. Your friend’s departure may have been the trigger, but the reasons for changing jobs should still be professional.
Think through your career goals
When there are big changes, it often provides good opportunities to think through whether this workplace is actually right for you. Many of us may have become comfortable in a role, because it means that we haven’t actually challenged ourselves lately. This should not only be negative but can also be something positive.
Make a pros and cons list of my current workplace and a list of your personal goals. Are you challenged at your workplace? If not, it might be time to talk to your employer and see if there are new opportunities within the company. This could be a step in the right direction.
Take some time to reevaluate your own professional goals and evaluate whether your job is still aligned with those goals. Instead of seeing your friend’s departure as a reason to quit, see it as an opportunity for personal growth and development.
Quitting a job just because a friend might not be the best has left the career move. But taking new steps is preferable, if so at current or other workplaces. If you don’t feel that you can get further in your current workplace, maybe it’s time for you too to seek new challenges.
Create new relationships at work
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Without the safety net of relying solely on your friend, you have the chance to step out of your comfort zone and create new relationships with colleagues. Accept challenges to build new contacts, expand your professional network and explore different perspectives in your work. With the departure of your best friend, you now have the opportunity to explore new contacts and expand your social circles at work.
Take this as a chance to engage with other colleagues, participate in team building activities or join work-related clubs or committees. By embracing new relationships, you may discover unexpected friendships that can reach your professional journey.
Nurture relationships in your private life
Friendship at the workplace can be enormously valuable as we spend many hours a week at work, but it can also create a sense of security where the workplace is a central factor in socializing. Challenge your friendship in your free time and see if the relationship lasts even when work is not involved.
Therefore, do not forget to take care of your family and your private relationships. Having a diverse network of friends can provide a healthy balance and lessen the impact of losing a best friend at work. It is important to create relationships outside of work with people who meet you to appreciate you in private.
Look ahead!
Acknowledging your loss, honoring what you had and trying to stay in touch outside of work are important steps to begin the process of moving on from your work bestie. This can give you the opportunity to start thinking about whether the workplace really challenges you and the opportunity to take new steps in your career and create new relationships. Don’t forget to create relationships in your private life and to separate private life from work. If you do this in the best way, your friend’s departure can actually lead to a lot of new positive change. And remember, your friend is always available to meet even in your spare time. Good luck!
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