From the title, this post sounds pretty maniacal, right?
I get it. A quest for knowledge on “how to get people to do what you want” doesn’t exactly have the best connotation.
You are viewing: How To Get People To Do What You Want
But in reality, the art of getting people to agree with you, and get “on your side” is an invaluable life skill, especially in business. Not to mention, being able to rally and direct others to achieve a common goal is an essential skill of leadership. One of my favorite quotes about leadership, from former president Dwight Eisenhower touches on exactly this:
“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Being able to motivate others to take specific action is an art – and it’s absolutely fascinating to learn about! Here are some of the best ways I’ve learned to get people to do what you want them to do.
1. Go for the small yes
Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral investigator with Science of People, and a brilliant woman who I’ve mentioned before, shares a highly effective persuasive tactic in her video on Essential Leadership Skills (linked below).
This tactic, which she calls, “Go for the small yes” has to do with using small asks (and small agreements) as a strategy for eventually getting a “big” yes.
Chances are, you have seen advanced speakers use this tactic before – likely during a political debate, or a televised court trial (even on TV shows!) The format might have gone something like this:
“Is it true that [easy statement to agree to]?
“Yes.”
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“And is it true that [another easy statement to agree to]?
“Yes.”
“And is it also true that [usually more difficult statement to agree with]?
“…Yes.”
*Cue gasp from the courtroom!*
That’s kind of a dramatic and a highly media-influenced example of going for the small yes, but you can see how this ladder of agreement can ultimately be very effective. Watch Van Edwards video above for a more real-life, tactical example, and tips for how you can employ this leadership tip in your own life and communication with others.
2. Give praise and recognition
When it comes to motivating others, nothing works better than praise.
There’s a common misconception that in the workplace, if you want to motivate an employee to perform (or even stick around), you should give them more money. And while money is nice, for most of us, money is never going to be our #1 motivator to perform or stay at a job.
Take, for example, millennials. Millennials are notorious for “job hopping,” and employers are at a loss for how to solve it. (Don’t believe me? Google “how to get millennials to stay in a job”… You’ll be met with 22 MILLION search results and oof… some of these articles are cringeworthy). But the secret with millennials, as it is with most of the population isn’t just “give them more money.” According to multiple studies and articles, millennials are known to stay longer in their workplaces for recognition, not salary. We (because yes, I am a millennial too!) desire feedback, a clear path to growth and promotion, and assurance that there’s room for us to grow to reach our goals… and recognition along the way!
So – how can you leverage this finding? In short: to get people to do what you want them to do, praise and recognize them along the path to doing so.
Van Edwards mentions another tactic in her video above called “The Pygmalion Effect.” The Pygmalion Effect dictates that when you assign someone a label, it inspires them to live up to it. So, if you want to inspire someone to lead others, call them a “great leader” – and better yet, do it in front of other people!
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Complimenting and praising others will help you cultivate better relationships, and increase the likelihood that those around you are willing to help you out, support your efforts, and – yes – do what you want them to do.
Quick Note: Praise and recognition must be authentic and meaningful. If it’s false or overused, you will not see helpful benefits, and instead may experience distrust and some eye rolling… Not a helpful leadership strategy!
3. Be specific in your ask
If you want to persuade others to do something, you need to be specific on EXACTLY what it is that you’re asking them to do. The key here is clarity. An indirect ask with an unclear objective is going to get an unclear response.
In short: if you want to get a specific result, make a specific ask.
The components of a specific ask are:
- WHY you’re making the ask
- WHAT the benefit of the ask is (even better if you can cater the benefit to the person you are asking)
- HOW the person can move forward with fulfilling the ask – include a step 1
So the next time you want to ask someone to do something, follow this format! And remember: be specific!
4. Use the body language of leaders
We’re taking a page from the animal kingdom on this one. “Alpha” animals have a very specific set of physical traits that they use to display leadership and encourage follower-ship in their community.
And while power poses and dominant postures are great for building self-confidence, you will want to be mindful of how you use these power postures in interactions with others… If you walk into a pitch meeting beating your chest like a gorilla, you’re not going inspire people to follow you. In fact, the opposite will likely happen.
Instead, find a balance with dominant postures that creates intimacy, not intimidation. Amy Cuddy mentions this idea in her book, “Presence.” A great example? Eye contact. While direct eye contact is powerful and signifies dominance, if you make consistent, direct eye contact with a colleague who you are trying to persuade, you’re going to make them feel uncomfortable and unlikely to want to do what you’re asking. This is because excessive eye contact is interpreted by humans as “a blatant arrogant attempt to dominate us” – which we resent (rightfully so!)
Instead, soften your gaze, maintain your attention, but shift your gaze upward slightly (like to your partner’s forehead). This will help your expression and your connectivity come across as more authentic, and less hubristic, which will foster genuine connection.
At the end of the day, getting people to do what you want them to do is an art… but it’s not an exact science. Focus on building your relationships, respecting and showing gratitude to others, and working towards your greater goals and purpose in life. When you lead from a place of service in your life, you simply can’t help but be successful!
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHAT
