As you may have noticed, aggression can take many forms.
Sometimes it’s more secretive and subtle than obvious and direct. So, you might not even realize certain behaviors count as aggression.
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Aggression does often involve physical or verbal harm, but it can also involve coercion or manipulation:
- Physical aggression includes hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, or any acts that cause physical hurt. This doesn’t include accidental harm, like accidentally stepping on your dog’s tail in the dark or knocking your friend off the porch while roughhousing.
- Verbal aggression can include shouting, swearing, insults, and other cruel and unkind remarks intended to cause pain and distress. Hate speech also falls into this category.
- Relational aggression refers to actions aimed at damaging another person’s reputation or relationships. Examples include bullying, gossiping, and playing friends off each other.
- Hostile aggression describes emotional or reactive acts that involve a specific intent to hurt someone or destroy something.
- Passive aggression can include any indirect expression of negative feelings. Common examples include the silent treatment, snide or sarcastic remarks, and redirecting blame.
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You might notice aggressive behavior happens when:
- you feel irritable, angry, bored, or restless
- things don’t go your way
- you want to get even with someone who wronged you
- you believe someone has treated you unfairly
- your emotions feel uncontrollable
- a situation feels overwhelming or uncomfortable
Where does anger come in?
Anger refers to an emotion, while aggression refers to behavior.
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While anger often plays a role in aggression — fueling outbursts or the urge to get revenge, for example — it’s not harmful in itself. Anger can actually be beneficial when you express it productively.
Signs of aggression in children and teens
Children and teenagers won’t always show aggression in the same ways as adults.
Along with physical actions like kicking, hitting, and pushing, aggression in a child might involve:
- explosive or violent tantrums and outbursts
- taunting or insulting peers to provoke a reaction
- threatening to hurt someone else or themselves
- using toys or other objects as weapons
- hurting animals
- destroying other people’s belongings or damaging property
- lying and stealing
Aggression in teenagers might involve:
- shouting at parents and siblings
- exhibiting extreme irritability, anger, or impulsivity
- destroying belongings or property
- teasing, bullying, or excluding peers
- lying, gossiping, and spreading rumors about peers
- using coercion and manipulation to maintain social status and control
- threatening to harm others or themselves
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