Dave Glover likes comedy. He’s into most genres of comedy and caught Louis C.K.’s act after his botanical trouble.

“It was a whole new kind of dark,” Glover said. “He came to the Funnybone with 100 people in the audience. It was packed. His first joke; ‘I used to play arenas, now I’m playing this shithole.”

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Yup. That’s our greenery lover.

“I’m such a nerd. I’ve always been a student of the creative process like Inside the Actors Studio. I love learning about medicine, about law. In standup, it’s all about confidence. You can tell when a person walks onstage whether they are scared or not. When you get on a plane and see the pilot is nervous, you’re naturally going to be a little skeptical about the flight.”

If you have talent, you still have to bust your tail to get ahead. It doesn’t matter if it’s comedy or radio, you have to discover your voice and get it out there. If not, you’ll suck. Sometimes you’ll be lucky enough to find your voice only to find people don’t like it.

After 22 years on KMOX in St. Louis, Glover said he’s most surprised how some comics are not funny off the air. “I don’t have them on anymore for that reason. They may ask me to bring up deer hunting or Christmas as a starting point for them. I’m like, ‘So, are you looking forward to Christmas?’ or ‘Have you ever gone hunting?’ No more.”

His childhood had some interesting moments.

“I guess you could say I had some trouble when I was young,” Glover said. “I didn’t know it at the time. My dad was a union carpenter and I suppose we were lower middle-class. We had white siding on our house. When you saw a brick house you knew the owner was probably in management. I got whipped just about every day. My parents weren’t monsters, I think it was just that era. They would say, ‘I heard you did this or that.’ Then came the switch. And I had to go outside and pick it. Of course I’d come back with the smallest one I could find. Then they’d pick it. You don’t want that.”

The Glover’s were a humorous family. Glover’s older sister by 14 years is way funnier than her little brother. “I swear she is, I’m not just saying that. My sisters aren’t performers, but they are funny as hell. I’m way more comfortable in front of 500 people than I am in front of five people. We’re not a mean-humor family, just a lot of ballbusting.”

To give you an idea about the warped family humor, Glover said when he was in sixth grade, he walked up to his mom when she was folding clothes.

“She was Miss Polly Purebred,” he said. “I looked at her and asked if she and my father still had sex. I just wanted to shock her. She turned my way with the 1,000 yard stare, like she was in Vietnam. She calmly said her father never had trouble having sex, but he did have trouble making love.”

Shock achieved?

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Glover did it again. Another day he said, ‘Mom, I heard some kid say ‘eat me.’ What does that mean?’ Even though I fully knew what it meant. Again his mother turned and said, ‘It’s a very sick thing people do, but some people find it very pleasurable.’ I just wanted to get a rise out of her. You couldn’t get ahead of her. She’s too smart, funny, and mean. I’m Scottish, which is worse than Irish.”

Typically, comedy club bookers want Glover to do two shows a night. He doesn’t like telling the same joke twice. It always has to be new.

“I was always a dork, always trying to impress girls,” he said. “When I was 12, I put on this Cornelius mask, the character from Planet of the Apes. I’d wear it all the time outside. Playing baseball, whatever. I thought it would make the girls like me.”

Glover was a smart kid (Despite the Planet of the Apes thing.) A psychology professor in college once gave him an IQ test.

“I took it and he said, ‘It must not have worked. Let’s do it again.’ So we did. He looked at the second result and said it was the same as the first result. ‘Really high.’ It was my Good Will Hunting moment. From that I got a law-school scholarship.”

He worked for 10 years as a lawyer, he said three of them were happy. It was a big firm that handled the Exxon Valdez oil spill disaster of 1989.

“There were 50 single lawyers and we didn’t do much. Needless to say it was a real **** fest. We used to get drunk. I mean Captain Joseph Hazelwood kind of drunk. All we did was look at documents.”

Bored, he and a buddy went to a local Kinkos and created a bogus memo and slipped it into Hazelwood’s file.

“It was some kind of warning saying he shouldn’t be captaining a boat,” Glover said.

It turns out some people higher up discovered the memo and didn’t think it very funny.

“Some bigwig called my boss and said, ‘We need to talk to you about David Glover.’ My boss said, ‘Never heard of him.’ And of course this was such a big firm, he hadn’t. Needless to say I was fired.”

You may be asking yourself how Glover got into radio. I know I was.

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Glover was buying advertising for a radio station in St. Louis, mostly for the Steve and DC Morning Show.

“They’d have me on for a segment, ‘Ask the Lawyer’,” Glover explained. “In the bit, I never knew the answer to anything. One day I was walking by a conference room when they were looking for someone to put on the air in an open slot. I think it was Steve from Steve and DC. They asked me if I wanted to do a radio show, and I said yes. They asked ‘for free?’ I said ‘f*** yeah’. Here I didn’t have a cent to my name. I was the first indentured servant in radio. Like a guy that has to work his way over to this country.”

After six months, he was sure he was going to get fired.

“We were doing Springfest and I was about a mile from the campus where we were doing the show,” Glover said. “I was doing a bad David Letterman impression. I was asking people if they knew where Springfest was, even though it was just down the street.”

The program director was listening and asked Glover if he felt he could do that kind of bit every day. Of course, Glover said he could.

A year after that Glover signed a contract.

“I was earning more than the market manager. My show became number one in 2003.”

Glover gets away with a lot of stuff on the air. Things mere mortal hosts would never be able to do. He’s earned enough to quit if he felt like it. But he still loves what he does.

“I came close to going national at one point,” Glover said. “I was friends with Glenn Beck. I did about a thousand hits on CNN. One executive told me he’d never heard anyone like me on the air and he listened for enjoyment.”

He just didn’t know what he’d do with Glover. Didn’t know how he’d package him. ‘I don’t know if I could sell you in Peoria,’ the executive told Glover. So, they kept paying him more to stay local.

The Dave Glover Show has been driving St. Louis home for over 22 years. Unafraid to discuss virtually any topic, you’ll hear Glover and his crew’s unique perspective on current events, news and politics, and anything and everything in between.

“A big part of radio is doing a live endorsement,” Glover said. “A good host makes between 500-700 a year. I’m doing five to six thousand a year. That’s about 120 live endorsements a week.”

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Category: HOW