Default arrives to sit on his well-known chair, only to know that his well-known chair is missing
Default: Where did my chair go…where did it go?!… sigh
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Uh, don’t worry everyone! I-I suppose I’ll just…stand the whole broadcast.
Default: Anyways. welcome back to SB News! During our little “hiatus”, new people came in the arena…unexpectedly. So we’ll be focusing on them today.
Default: M’kay…let’s see the first report… ah yes. “Tinkerer and Hammer Work As A Team”
…
Default: Uh, I don’t really see how that’s a report…
YourTypicalWikiUser: stfu default and just stick with it i’m too lazy to come up with smart ideas
Default: Fine. Station! Bring ’em in here!
Hammer and Tinkerer come
Default: Hello guys!
Hammer: ‘Ello.
Tinkerer: Heya!
Default: So, uh… you guys been doing well as a team?
Tinkerer: Splendidly! The efficacy of the collaboration between myself and Hammer is so high that it could be compared to an unexpected electrical discharge, often referred to as a shock!
Default: …uh, okay. So…what have you guys been building?
Tinkerer: Our recent surge in construction activities has resulted in a multitude of structures, the quality of which has exceeded expectations, akin to a positive deviation in a scientific experiment. The synergy between us is optimal, forming an efficient and effective team. The tools we wield, a wrench and a hammer, align perfectly with our tasks, much like the precise alignment of variables in a well-designed experiment.
Default looks at Tinkerer, shocked and confused
Default: I’m just gonna pretend I understood you.
Hammer: Don’t be confused about how he’s speakin’. I’ve learned from him too! Watch ‘n’ learn.
From a scientific perspective, my affinity for the Testudines order, commonly known as turtles, is profound. This group of reptiles, characterized by their cartilaginous or bony shell developed from their ribs, fascinates me. Their evolutionary journey, spanning over 220 million years, is a testament to their resilience and adaptability. The diversity within this order, ranging from the petite speckled cape tortoise to the majestic leatherback sea turtle, is awe-inspiring. Their unique physiological adaptations, such as the ability to retract their head and limbs into their shell for protection or their capacity for long-term hibernation, are subjects of great scientific interest. Furthermore, their ecological roles as both prey and predator, and in some cases as ecosystem engineers, underline their importance in maintaining biodiversity and ecological balance. Hence, my preference for turtles extends beyond mere admiration and delves into the realms of biological, ecological, and evolutionary intrigue.
Default: Guh… well, it seems that working with Tinkerer has really affected your English, Hammer.
Hammer: Tank yous.
Default: It really has affected your English, literally.
Tinkerer: What are the optimal actions to perform in this information dissemination facility? It appears to require some modifications based on scientific principles.
Default: Oh, uh… no thanks? And this isn’t a facility.
Hammer: By facility, he means by “news station”.
Default: Ooohh. Well, we don’t need any ‘tinkering’ in here. Everything’s fine the way it is.
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Tinkerer: So I see. Well, I suppose we should terminate interaction now. Farewell.
Default: Alread-
Hammer and Tinkerer leave
Default: …Eh, oh well. Well, onto the next report-
Default’s face turns confused
Default: Uh, where’re my reports to document? First, my chair’s gone, now my reports are gone!
YourTypicalWikiUser: just to help you out I think Jebaited took your reports
Default looks to the other side of the station, only to see Jebaited taking the reports
Default: Hey! What are you doing?
Jebaited looks behind him
Jebaited: You got jebaited! You got je-baited! You got jebaited! You got je-je-je-je-je-je-baited!
Jebaited disappears
Default: …I think I lost my braincells.
YourTypicalWikiUser: you do know you don’t have to always do 3 reports on sb news, right? just do sb wiki news
Default: Oh…right. Since there’re no ‘serious’ reports on the wiki, I might as well introduce 2 people. Anyways, let’s welcome our 2 guests, @Kmjjfkbvnkj and @Footmanballer !
They don’t arrive
Default: Uh, guys?
They still don’t arrive
Default: …hello?
Soon, Kmj blasts into the news station, blasting into Default uncontrollably
Default: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
Kmj and Default crash into a nearby wall
Footmanballer comes
Footmanballer: uh hello? what did i miss out on? anyone here?
Kmj: fmb be a good boy and get me and this random noob out of the wall
Footmanballer: k
Footmanballer grabs Kmj and Default and drops them down
Kmj: ow
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Default: chuckle Ow. stands up So, welcome to Slap Battles News, Kmj and Footmanballer! How are you?
Kmj: you know how i am rn. in physical pain
Footmanballer: i’m good
Default: Good to know! Now I just want to-
Kmj: wait a minute where’s my little sister
Default: Excuse me?
Footmanballer: uh
Kmj: where is she
Default: Who’s your little sister?
Kmj: my little sister
Default: Who?
Kmj: @Whyreadthisalt
Footmanballer: was i living under a rock during this?
Whyreadthis comes
Whyreadthis: brother! there you are
Footmanballer: i’ma head out if that’s fi- actually no i’ma watch this unfold
Kmj: come to big brother my little darling
Default is trying not to burst into laughter
Whyreadthis walks to Kmj
Footmanballer: ooooooooo
Default is heavily trying to not burst into laughter, which causes him to let out a few snickers
Whyreadthis hu- (i don’t want to type the full thing)
Default: Footmanballer you’re the new host of SB News for 9 picoseconds while I’m going to be in the other room laughing hysterically
Default rushes to the next room and laughs so hard
Footmanballer: i don’t see why this is worthy of laughing about. i think this is really cute
Kmj: you’re safe with big brother now
During this, the creator has lost all his braincells and has probably died.
END
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: HOW
