When you ask yourself good questions, your mind will start to work hard to find a good answer.
The first question to ask yourself is “What am I thinking?” By asking yourself this question, you start to become aware of everything that is happening around you and inside your head, connecting it all to your emotions. When you ask yourself what your thoughts are, you should have a pen and paper and start to write everything down. It doesn’t matter if you think some of it is rubbish or petty or not really true. The process of watching your mind think and writing it all down is a skill and one that helps you become conscious of why your are taking actions in life (or not taking actions).
Often when people start to write down their thoughts, it is a little like looking at your work desk and it’s a complete mess. There are papers all over the desk, post-it notes stuck everywhere, pens, staplers, high lighters and anything you can think of just thrown on your desk. Nothing is in any order so you find that you only focus on what has been placed on top of the desk, burying all the other good information deep below it. Writing down your thoughts is the first step in cleaning the desk up, placing everything in a pile, neatly stacking books and placing the pens away. When you want to find something, it becomes easier and quicker – just the way the mind likes it. The focus isn’t limited to just the surface.
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So now that you have your thoughts out of your head and on paper, it’s time to ask yourself “Why am I choosing to think some or all of these thoughts?” Every thought you have is a choice, made by you and only you. Is the thought serving you or is it an old default thought you have carried around for years?
Let’s go back to the example above and ask, “Why would I be thinking ‘why am I so fat’? Is this thought helping you lose weight? Is this thought going to encourage you to WANT to lose weight? Is this thought serving you or is it a thought you have carried around for so long that you no longer know how to NOT think it?
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When you think the thought ‘why am I so fat’? – how does that make you feel? Does it make you feel empowered to lose weight? Does it make you feel safe in your own body? Does it make you feel important enough to believe you can actually lose the weight?
This is a common question many women say to themselves, weekly, daily and sometimes even hourly without actually realising it. How on earth can a person compete with this negative conditioned thought about themselves when most of the time they are not even aware they are thinking it? The mind is continually proving the thought by never allowing you to lose weight and love who you are.
So now that you are aware of your thoughts by writing them down and questioning the thought, how do you go about changing the thought? A great way to start to change the thoughts is by asking better questions. Instead of asking:
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