When I was an upstanding altar boy in fourth grade, my church asked me to go on its under-produced half-hour Sunday show on the local Fox affiliate in Rockford, Ill. On that show I was asked what my favorite Christmas song was.

I nervously answered, “I think it’s probably, um, ‘Silent Night.'”

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The nun host (who also happened to be my principal) then asked if I’d sing some of it.

In the voice of what I imagine a 9-year-old Joe Pesci sounds like, I simply said, “No. I don’t think that’s happening.”

“Silent Night” still is one of my favorites, but I’ve started listening to other Christmas songs at home and really paying attention to the lyrics — and I’ve started Googling lines after thinking, “I have no idea what that means.” Many times it’s because certain phrases lose meaning with time.

I’ll get back to “Silent Night” later, but first, here are a few others that caused me to run to Google.

1. Who the heck is Parson Brown in ‘Winter Wonderland”?

In “Winter Wonderland,” by Felix Bernard (music) and Richard B. Smith (lyricist) — and performed best by Dino — there’s the suggestion of making a snowman who looks like Parson Brown. That snowman could then marry a couple, because that seems legally binding.

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“Parson Brown” is likely not a real person. A parson (according to Merriam-Webster) is a minister, or another name for a pastor. There might have been a real person named Parson Brown in Smith’s life. It also just so happens “brown” rhymes well with “town.”

2. What’s a sable besides a family car from a defunct brand?

A car, in most cases, won’t fit under your Christmas tree. And who would ask for a Mercury, anyway?! My first thought, of course, was: My dead grandfather, maybe — and that’s probably why they’re not around anymore. Besides, Eartha Kitt asks for a “”54 convertible” in the next line, which is a much better choice, anyway.

A quick Google search offers plenty of results for a small forest animal whose fur has been used for years to make coats and other wearables. Kitt is most likely asking for a fur coat. I mentioned fur. Now fight in the comments!

3. What’s figgy pudding? Would I like it?

These guys really want figgy pudding. They wouldn’t leave the IndyStar newsroom without it, in fact. Who just knows a good recipe for figgy pudding off the top of their head? Who even knows what it is?

Well, I just looked it up and it sounds delicious. Food.com’s recipe includes nutmeg, cinnamon and orange peel. And it’s not what you’d think when you hear “pudding.” I’ll have to give it a go.

4. I like my pulled pork tender and mild, not my babies.

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This is still my favorite Christmas song to hear from an amazing group or choir, and Straight No Chaser’s version is amazing. Sit back and take it in.

Is it over now? Good. Let’s get to the lyrics.

I would never describe a baby as “tender and mild.” That is, however, how I want my pulled pork described. That sounds delicious. I know “mild” is a good rhyme for “child,” but there has to be a better description. I never want a baby to sound delicious.

5. What are “hopalong boots”?

“Hopalong boots” are the wish of Barney and Ben in “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” written by Meredith Willson in 1951. They sound like something really fun. I kind of want a pair to wear to work. But, what are they?

Hopalong boots were Disney’s Frozen Castle of the 1950s. They were children’s boots to match radio, television and film cowboy Hopalong Cassidy’s fashionable kicks. I imagine every boy wanted them. You can buy a pair on Amazon right now. Now, to find some to fit me now.

Aside from Christmas songs, every year, I have to look up the meaning of “Auld Lang Syne.” And then I promptly forget it by Jan. 3. Don’t be like me, and remember that it’s Scottish-Gaelic for “old long since.” Basically, a long time has past. Sing it on the first and think about how much just happened in the past year. It’s amazing.

Connect with Engagement Producer Joe Tamborello on Twitter at @joetamborello.

Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHAT