4 Techniques to Figure Out What You Want in a Partner
When asking the question, “What are you looking for in a relationship?”, you essentially want to determine the exact qualities of a partner. After all, a successful relationship relies on more than just physical attraction, especially if you wish to have a long-term relationship with that potential partner.
People possess different romantic and emotional needs, so when you look for a partner, you may feel tempted to compare yourself to others that are in seemingly healthy relationships. But that does not answer the question of what will work in a long-term perspective for you.
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Knowing what you want or figuring out what you want when it comes to the people you decide to enter romantic relationships with takes a level of emotional maturity that many people seem to lack. Here are some ways that you can use to reflect on yourself and help you find what you want in a real-life romantic partner.
1. Focus on Yourself First and Be Clear About Who You Are
Mostly, we have a hard time figuring out what we want because we have little understanding of ourselves or our core values. Thus, spending time with yourself is a solid foundation to figure out what you want in a relationship.
Here are the insights to gather:
- Focus on getting under your own skin and learn all that you can about yourself
- Figure out your own emotions, and learn or relearn your likes and dislikes
- Take the time to live your own life
- Take a look at yourself through the eyes of someone else and see what you see about yourself
Use what you learn about yourself to figure out what qualities you would like in your ideal partner. You may find that you want someone just like you – or the complete opposite of you.
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Search for yourself before you log in to a dating app. What do you see? Does this seem like you, or does it seem like the person you think others want you to be? Would a person looking at this profile that you made want to build a strong emotional connection with the person you actually are? Make yourself the priority, meaning your true self.
By spending time and getting to know yourself and the real-life you. You can have an honest answer to almost any question in regard to what you are looking for.
2. Look at Your Past Relationships
Why did our previous relationships fail is not such a harmless question, but it needs an honest answer. If they failed because of a common issue, it’s time to acknowledge your part in this problem.
That common issue can be different from person to person. Maybe bouts of casual dating have led you to a surface-level loving relationship. Or you thought you want an adventurous partner when what you really needed was a supportive partner in a committed relationship. Whatever happened, you should understand that each potential relationship has a chance of failing if you’re not working on that hard enough.
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Look at what went wrong in your past relationships:
- Did you lack emotional maturity when dealing with certain issues?
- Did you only go into the relationship based on physical attraction?
- Was the potential partner your best friend as a friend but your worst enemy as a romantic partner?
- Was it as simple as a twin flame being confused for a soul mate?
By taking a minute to look at what went wrong in your previous relationships, you get an idea of what your dream partner may be like. Remember that it is ok to let your own emotions take the lead at times. However, it is important to use past experiences to make sure that you find the best potential partner for you.
3. List the Qualities You Admire
This step takes a lot of emotional maturity, but it is completely worth doing. Take a moment to think of all the people you love. Everyone who shares the same values as you – your best friend, family members, even the people you had been in a relationship with before. After all, you got with them for a reason.
Make a list of each of their individual qualities that you admire. How do their core values line up with yours? Do you enjoy spending time together, are you interested in the same things? By making a list of the qualities and values you admire most, you make a list that will help you to find your best potential partners no matter what.
4. Make Your Interests Known Sooner, Not Later
This is actually a case of mutual respect. As you and that potential partner spend time together, you shouldn’t feel the need to hide certain aspects of yourself from them.
No matter what, if you want to be in a healthy relationship with the right person, you cannot be hiding crucial details about who you are. To be in a great relationship, you need a partner who is on the same page as you, even if the things you enjoy might be considered to be boring or even embarrassing to some.
You don’t have to be in a relationship with someone who feels the same way as you when it comes to most things. However, a perfect relationship or a close-to-perfect one relies on a mutual understanding within that romantic relationship.
Source: https://t-tees.com
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