For some unknown reason I have become the go-to girl for helping my friends with difficult text message situations. We all know what those situations entail: A prospective love interest, an awkward-break up via text, a passive aggressive way of showing anger or the breaking of some not-capable-of-telling-you-in person news.
We’ve all been there, and for some reason my friends always come to me with the same plight: “What should I say?” “How should I say it?” “Should I add a smiley face or a ‘ … ‘ at the end?” These texting situations come up often and have the potential to cause drastic change in relationships of all kind. One text message – good, bad or ugly – has the potential to stir up drama or create unanswered dilemmas instantly. And to think, the common text message ranges from one word to usually no more than 20.
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Especially when dealing with potentially romantic text messages, things can become dangerous, stressful and questionable pretty quick. So here are my tips for becoming a successful texter.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
There is no value in sending overly vague text messages. If you have something to say, especially when it comes to a love interest, just say it. Playing word games is not for text messages. There’s too much risk of meaning getting lost in translation, so keep it simple and to the point.
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Don’t make assumptions.
We’ve all heard the saying that to assume is to make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Well, when it comes to text messaging, assumptions can, and will, make you look like an ass. Let me illustrate with an example. You ask a boy you like, “what are you up to tonight?” and he responds, “hangin’ out.” Instead of automatically assuming that by his limited, unspecific response, that he doesn’t want to hang out with you, be smart and either a.) Inquire more as to his plans or b.) Text him what you are doing and ask if he would like to join. This leads me to the next tip.
Don’t send pointless text messages.
Please, please, please if you take one piece of advice it’s do not, under any circumstance, send pointless text messages. Text messages are not meant to get the attention of someone. I call this the “feeler text.” The idea is that one puts their “feelers” out by sending some sort of ridiculous, completely pointless text message. Refrain. Unless you have something important to say, an urgent question to ask or a feeling that must be conveyed don’t send a text at all. Unless you’re truly interested in starting a conversation with someone or communicating a point, just don’t send a text. Mindless chatter is for phone, or in-person conversations.
The late-night text: when someone says, “I’m going to bed” it means they are going to bed.
Late-night texts are generally of the romantic texting topic, so things here can be kind of fuzzy. Texting like this usually happens during the hour or two after bars close on weekends, and let’s be honest, they usually fall under the category of a “booty call” text. But there is a line to be drawn. We’ve all fallen (unfortunately so) for a late night text. But unless you are actually in a (serious) relationship with the late-night texter, don’t get too excited about the inviting words. There is one, very serious rule when it comes to late-night texting. If someone responds to your late-night text with “I’m going to bed” or “I’m sleeping,” chances are they are cozy under their covers and don’t feel like getting up to hang out with you. No exceptions. No amount of persuasion will convince them to get up, so just bite the bullet and go to bed.
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When all else fails, send a smiley face.
Don’t underestimate the power of a smiley face. Consider these two, very similar text messages: “See you later” versus “See you later :-)” I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read be sent the latter message. That simple smiley can brighten a day and give meaning to an otherwise dull text message. I am a huge fan of the smiley face text and recommend sending them. Think about how much a smiley face can lighten a stressful text message, or how much happier it can make an already gleeful one.
Text messaging should not be your relationship’s sole form of communication.
This is especially vital when dealing with the beginning stages of a romantic relationship. I’d say, no matter how awkward or nervous it may make you feel, talking on phone or in person is the best way to start a relationship off on the right foot. Which sounds better? “Your father and I used to talk on the phone for hours when we first started dating,” or “your father and I used to text each other a lot when we first started dating.” The getting-to-know-you, early stage of a relationship is vital so don’t waste it texting. If you like the person call them. Get to know them first hand, not just from their simple, grammatically incorrect text messages.
The bottom line? Don’t underestimate the power of a creative, well thought out, meaningful text message.
Christina Geyer is a junior journalism major. She can be reached for comment at [email protected].
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