Dear Cum Doctor,
You’re right that how much a person ejaculates in a real-life setting isn’t comparable to porn. In fact, it can vary from person to person and experience to experience. Ejaculate—more commonly known as cum or semen—is mainly made up of seminal fluid and sperm. The average person produces approximately 1.5 to 5 milliliters (mL) of ejaculate per ejaculation. This is about the size of a teaspoon or less. Additionally, how much you produce can be affected by a variety of factors, some of which are out of your control.
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If you’re mainly concerned with increasing the volume of your ejaculate rather than improving chances of fertilization, it may be more helpful to focus on strategies that increase seminal fluid. Examples of these strategies may include:
- Eating a nutrient-dense diet. Fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, seafood, fiber-rich products, poultry, and dairy products contain anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties that may increase semen volume.
- Taking supplements. Although research is limited, certain supplements may increase semen volume. D-aspartic acid, fenugreek herbs, and zinc may increase testosterone. Ashwagandha and maca root can help improve sexual function.
- Getting physical activity. Whether it’s an exercise routine or activities like Kegels, being more active may increase semen volume. Your pelvic muscles play a large role in how far your ejaculation can go, so pelvic exercises can provide you with the strength you need to shoot your shot!
- Being mindful of substance use. A health care professional may recommend quitting smoking, as it can not only cause erectile dysfunction, but also a lower semen volume. Additionally, exposure to both tobacco and alcohol can affect seminal zinc and testosterone levels.
- Maintaining open communication. Establishing an open channel of communication with your girlfriend about any concerns you may be having can reduce the pressure or unease you may be feeling about your sexual performance.
- Increasing time between ejaculating. In general, the more you postpone ejaculation, the more semen you build up and release when you finally do ejaculate. Therefore, longer time periods between ejaculating may allow you to build up a bigger load. If you’d still like to engage in sexual activity (partnered or masturbation), you can try edging, which is a method of stimulation without actually ejaculating.
Some causes of changes in ejaculate volume are also out of your control. People tend to have the highest levels of ejaculate when they’re younger (particularly in their thirties), but then it decreases over time. Additionally, how much a person ejaculates may be hereditary.
Prior to taking supplements or trying any performance enhancing techniques, it may be helpful to speak with a health care professional. This way they can assess you for any potential risk factors and suggest alternative options, if necessary. They can also perform a semen analysis so that you can learn more about the quality and quantity of your own semen.
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It might also be helpful to know that the amount of semen you ejaculate may have nothing to do with better sexual performance or satisfaction for your partner. Have you considered having an open discussion with your girlfriend about your concerns with pleasing her? Has she said or given any signs that she doesn’t like how much you ejaculate? By talking with her about it, you can find out how she feels and if it’s something you want to further explore.
And finally, it may be worth spending some time thinking about your feelings around this as it relates to porn. While there may be some changes that would help, you may want to think about if they’re changes you really want to make. As you’ve mentioned, the porn industry often promotes unrealistic beauty standards, such as above average penis sizes and exaggerated amounts of semen. Your feelings aren’t uncommon, and it can be difficult not to compare yourself and your expectations to the professionals. However, pornographic content in general isn’t an accurate representation of sex or a standard of what sex should be. Professional porn often has the advantage of editing, flattering lighting, and camera angles to produce content that has been curated. You may take some time to ask yourself questions such as, “Would I care about the amount of ejaculate I have if I didn’t see it in porn?” to get a better understanding of the root of your feelings.
No matter the approach you take, here’s to hoping good luck cums your way!
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