- corinthiana
- 8 years ago
Mlim : “I always would want to be home by even 2 and want to be with him. I haven’t seen him all day.”
“He hasn’t seen me all day and seems to be having fun and not wanting to be here.”
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I feel like more than the safety concerns and your plans you mentioned, maybe it’s more that him wanting to stay out late is an indication to you that: “He doesn’t want to spend time with you and you aren’t as important or as fun as his friends are, otherwise why wouldn’t he be rushing home to be with you more? Doesn’t he miss you?”
Him wanting to spend time with his friends doesn’t equate to him not wanting to be with you/spend time with you or be an indication that he doesn’t miss you or think you’re not fun to be around.
Like you mentioned, he doesn’t go out very often, which is also a very large indicator that he likes spending time with you and that you have value and importance to him.
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I’ve felt this way many times, Bee, so I think I understand decently how you’re feeling. What I came to realize, through some months of counseling lol, was that it wasn’t about him being out too late with his friends, but that irrationally, I felt like I wasn’t important to my partner by him not messaging me back within a few hours, or staying out really late. What helped me get through this was keeping busy for the times that he’s out, and reflecting on what ways he has shown me I am important to him in comparison to him being out late (ie, we spend __ days/hours together in the past while vs. how long he has been out this time).
Maybe my experience isn’t the exact same thing, but just try to be reflective on what his past actions have shown you, like all of the fun times you’ve had together, in comparison what is currently happening. In addition, maybe there’s a different way he can communicate with you to reassure you instead of trying to figure out an expected time he’ll be back.
Sorry for the essay haha, good luck bee 🙂
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