If you’re trying to learn what it means when a guy cries at the thought of losing you, it means that you’re extremely important to the guy. He considers you a very important asset to his emotional health, well-being, and safety—and doesn’t want to lose you.
He can’t afford to lose you because he’s put such an importance on you that losing you would be detrimental to his happiness and who he is as a person. It’d hurt him so much that he wouldn’t be able to eat or sleep and perform his daily tasks.
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For you, this is both a good and a bad sign.
It’s good because the guy is happy with you and values your commitment to the relationship. He loves you and wants things to stay the way they are.
And the reason why it’s not good is that it shows he needs you rather than wants you. He’s emotionally dependent on you for validation and happiness and can’t reach his full potential on his own – without you. You give him emotional support and make it possible for him to deal with stressors, fears, or difficult situations.
You’re basically the person he relies on in times of need as he needs you by his side (as close as possible) in order to obtain strength and recognition.
This is why he probably thinks that he has a great connection with you and that you’re the best girlfriend, fiance, or wife he could have asked for.
Now that you know the pros and cons of a highly emotional man, you need to know that this person has a lot of admiration and respect for you. He loves you more than anything and anyone else. But, unfortunately, a lot of that love comes from his lack of self-love, confidence, and self-esteem.
It’s created by his inability to live joyously without your help and reassurance.
If this is the first time your boyfriend got so emotional, know that he could be dealing with something stressful. Something that threatens his safety, comfort, hope, or confidence in his abilities.
But if he’s always required a lot of attention and reassurance, then that’s who your boyfriend is at the core. He’s the “emotional type” who requires a woman who won’t take his love for granted and think that he’s weak.
In this guide, we’ll shed some light on what it means when a guy cries at the thought of losing you. We’ll also mention how you should talk to a guy like this and what he needs to get over his fears of losing you.
When a guy cries at the thought of losing you
When a guy cries at the thought of losing you, you see what the guy is like as a person. You see how emotional he is, how he handles painful situations, and most importantly, what or who is important to him.
His tears essentially indicate that he loves you and is afraid of losing you. They show he’s committed and that he wants the same from you.
And that’s exactly what you need from a guy you’re dating because it proves that he’s attracted and attached to you.
Of course, you don’t need him to cry uncontrollably because that could mean that he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship.
But you do need to know that you’re important to him and that losing you would be a big inconvenience for him.
The key to a healthy relationship with someone you love is to have a little bit of fear of losing that person. Fear proves that the person you’re with is important to you and that you’re happy with the way (most) things are.
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People who don’t fret at the thought of losing their boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife usually take their partner for granted. And because they take their partner for granted and have no fear of losing their partner, they often cheat or break up with their partner when things get tough.
I’m not saying that you and your boyfriend should be miserable without each other and afraid of being alone. Fear of being single would mean that you’re insecure and/or incapable of taking care of your own needs. But you should be aware of each other’s worth and contribution to the relationship and regularly express gratitude.
The more often you tell each other how much you value each other’s efforts, behavior, and commitment, the better. You can’t overdo gratitude unless you tell your partner you need him to be happy and cry every time.
Keep in mind that healthy gratitude creates mutual feelings of acceptance and understanding whereas overdoing gratitude by saying you can’t go on without your partner comes off as needy, clingy, insecure, and codependent.
So if you’re not sure what to think of your boyfriend’s behavior, know that tears usually indicate emotional dependence or a lack of strength. They show that your boyfriend has plans to bond and stay with you.
This is especially true if your boyfriend starts crying and telling you how much he loves you out of nowhere when you’re not having an emotional discussion.
So pay attention to the reasons why your boyfriend cried and expressed his love in such a strong manner.
With that said, you can tell your boyfriend needs you more than he wants you if he says things like:
- I can’t live without you
- I don’t know where I’d be today if I didn’t meet you (this can also portray gratitude if you helped him turn his life around)
- You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for being with me (shows gratitude, love, and attachment)
- I’m so happy you love someone like me (self-disappointment or low self-esteem)
- What do you even see in me? (low self-esteem)
- Do you love me? (asking for approval)
- I don’t deserve you (a sign of depression, pity, and low self-esteem)
When a guy cries at the thought of losing you, he’s basically looking for approval and reassurance. He wants you to tell him that you love him and need him too and that you won’t leave him no matter what.
Whether it’s because he’s dealing with something difficult and needs help or because his self-esteem has always been low, the guy cried because he wanted you to bond with him and continue to spend time with him.
It’s best that you match his behavior in intensity and say that you’re also grateful for his love and commitment.
What kind of guy cries at the thought of losing you?
I don’t like to stereotype and say that such and such guys cry in relationships, but typically, guys who cry the most are those who:
- had a difficult upbringing
- developed an anxious attachment style
- developed poor self-esteem and confidence in their abilities
- or those who are extremely grateful, emotional, and cry easily
Of course, there’s also a small possibility that your boyfriend said he’s afraid of losing you because he cheated on you or did something stupid. But in that case, he’ll come clean with you very soon. He’ll feel too guilty not to tell you.
Keep in mind that people develop themselves the most in their childhoods, but certain experiences in their adult lives can also shape them into people who cry (a lot).
Here are some of those defining experiences:
- getting cheated on and treated poorly after the breakup
- losing a loved one
- losing a job
- going through a painful divorce
- and anything distressing and self-esteem-breaking
You need to figure out if your boyfriend’s tears are a one-time thing because if they are, that would likely mean that he got hurt or depressed. But if they keep recurring, your boyfriend’s probably always been that emotional.
What to do when a guy cries at the thought of losing you?
When a guy cries at the thought of losing you, it’s of utmost importance that you understand where his tears are coming from. If they’re coming from something that caused him pain, you need to sympathize with your boyfriend and reassure him that everything’s going to be okay.
But if he just wants to tell you how important you are to him, you can just reciprocate his feelings and tell him that he’s extremely important to you as well. This kind of response will tell your boyfriend that you have his best interests at heart and that you won’t let him down no matter what.
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He must hear what he means to you so he can feel safe in the relationship. Safety is the most important thing, followed by love, respect, and attitude. So make sure your boyfriend feels secure.
When he does, he’ll be able to overcome his fears and desire something else from you. Something less essential that won’t make him cry.
Whatever you do, you mustn’t think of your boyfriend’s tears as a sign of weakness and worsen your opinion of him. Even if he needs you a bit more than you need him, you must accept your boyfriend for the person he is and commit to helping him become stronger and more independent.
We all have fears and worries. Your boyfriend just needs to feel accepted and encouraged to grow and he’ll soon find his peace and stability. He’ll do it as long as he’s aware of his fears and has a supportive girlfriend by his side.
Although some women wish that their boyfriend would be less stoic and more emotional, the truth is that not all women appreciate highly emotional men. Just how guys get used to girls crying very fast, women get used to guys crying too.
And they sometimes lose respect for their boyfriend and wish to rely on their partner rather than to be relied on.
So if you love your boyfriend and want to help him emotionally, discover where his need for love, safety, and recognition comes from. Learn why he’s afraid of losing you and what you can say and do that will make him feel safer.
Once you’ve expressed your desire to be with him, he’ll likely feel reassured and calm down. And that’s when you can encourage him to talk to you whenever he feels insecure or threatened in any way.
That way, you’ll build trust in the relationship and make him less afraid of losing you in the future.
Remember that a guy who cries at the thought of losing you will need some time to build up his self-esteem as deep-rooted thoughts and emotions take time to change.
So advise him to talk to you, friends, and family and if he’s very hurt, encourage him to seek professional help. Suggest that in a way so that he can find out why he’s being so emotional and learn what he can do to boost his self-esteem.
Below you can find 5 things to do when a guy cries at the thought of losing you.
How to have a healthy relationship with an insecure boyfriend?
To help your insecure boyfriend become more secure, there’s not a whole lot you can do. Confidence and self-esteem are self-developed, which is why all you can do is to become aware of his fears and insecurities and provide plenty of daily acceptance, love, safety, stability, and validation.
An insecure guy may be a guy, but he’ll still occasionally need you to treat him with care, understanding, and patience. He’ll need you to support him emotionally and reciprocate his feelings when he cries at the thought of losing you.
So if you want to help him and have a decent relationship with him, don’t reject his feelings, thoughts, and ideas. If you don’t agree with this approach or the things he says, make him feel accepted first, and then discuss how you’d like him to handle certain situations.
This way, he won’t get offended (much) and will be able to react differently next time he experiences another urge to cry and express his fears and concerns.
Your job as his girlfriend, therefore, is very straightforward. Listen to him, reciprocate his feelings, and talk to him about his mental/emotional health. You never know, your boyfriend might grow emotionally stronger in just a few weeks. It depends on how you handle his fears and how eager he is to grow within.
Did you learn what it means when a guy cries at the thought of losing you? What would/will you do when your boyfriend expresses his love to you in that way? Will you raise a red flag or consider his tears a harmless gesture that expresses gratitude? Post your thoughts in the comments section below.
And if you’re looking for help regarding your emotional boyfriend, go to our coaching page and get in touch.
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