An invitation to have dinner at a guy’s home is flattering, but beware, ladies, you could be stepping into the lair of the Come Over Guy.
The Come Over Guy is easy to detect because, as soon as you meet him, he asks you on a date. Notice I didn’t say “out on a date.”
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He’ll reject your suggestions to go to a restaurant or coffee shop. When you’re dealing with the Come Over Guy, dating outside of the home is not an option. Ever.
He does give you two other options: You can go to his house, or he can come to your house. He prefers you come to his house, so that he can set the tone.
For the COG, living room dates are the ultimate. Why go out when there’s a perfectly comfortable couch in front of a large TV with digital cable, TiVo and a DVD player? You can kick off your shoes, get comfy, sip wine-and the bed is between 5 and 50 feet away.
Options are everything, right?
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Now, if you’re a Come Over Girl looking for a casual thing, an in-home invite is exactly what you wanted. The offer is tempting because quiet movie nights are reminiscent of comfortable, routine evenings spent by established couples.
Don’t be fooled. The COG has a different type of coupling in mind.
Years ago, I had an encounter with a Come Over Guy. We met and talked on the phone a few times, and one rainy Friday night, the COG invited me for a low-key, friendly evening of pizza and movie watching. I accepted. It sounded like a fun, quiet date.
After giving his address and phone number to my friend, Lorrie-who is always concerned that I’ll be abducted-I donned my rain gear and visited my COG.
When I noticed the dimmed lighting, I thought I might be in trouble. He kept his distance while we watched the movie, but the minute it was over, he grew four additional hands and wanted to get much closer.
I left abruptly, narrowly escaping all those hands. When I told the story to a male friend, he said, “Well why did you go over there? What did you expect?”
I didn’t know how to answer. I guess I expected a nice evening, not a wrestling match. My friend smugly suggested that perhaps seeing a movie in an actual theater might be better for my next first date.
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Of course, not all Come Over Guys are predators. Some men extend genuinely innocent invitations. But, for the sake of protection, I’m now selective about which in-home invitations I accept in the early stages of getting to know a man.
If it’s a get-together with many people, a party, daytime group sports invitation or a quick drop-by, no problem. I’m cautious of late-night invites-particularly after alcohol is involved.
At that point, however, I think the line is blurred between the Come Over and the Booty Call, which is the subject of an entirely different column.
INSIDE GINA’S HEAD
Favorite flavor: Chocolate or peanut butter
You should know: I don’t write about every relationship story I hear. Most of them are either too scary or not interesting enough to repeat.
Dream job: Talk show host
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHEN
