One of the most glaring characteristics of a narcissistic person is their insatiable desire for dominance. They feel an impulsive need to control not only their environment but also the individuals in it. This need for control serves to validate their belief that they are superior to everyone else. The tactics employed by narcissists to maintain control can range from subtle and unnoticed gestures to dangerous and harmful behaviors.
1) They Pull You Back By Hoovering
When a narcissist begins to lose control over someone, there comes a point where they attempt to “hoover” the individual back into the toxic cycle of the relationship. Hoovering is a common manipulation tactic employed by narcissists to manipulate victims into giving them another chance. They may act sincerely, saying or doing things that the victim wants to see or hear, thus tricking them into believing in the narcissist’s change.
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Some narcissists resort to “love bombing,” showering the victim with excessive affection to manipulate and influence them. Others take more aggressive measures, resorting to stalking in their attempts at hoovering. They may call from unknown numbers or message through new email accounts. Some narcissists may even contact the victim’s friends and family in order to manipulate them and gain a chance to speak with the victim.
Victims of narcissists may find themselves falling for these tactics due to the impression that the narcissist is remorseful. They may fear that they are passing up the opportunity for a fresh start if they ignore the narcissist. However, if the victim stops falling for these tricks, there is a high probability that the narcissist will retaliate with even harsher measures.
2) They Start a Smear Campaign Against You
Narcissists are fixated on maintaining the public facade they have created for themselves – one of charm, charisma, and pleasantness. They have built their whole world around this carefully crafted image, and thus, one of their biggest fears is being exposed for who they truly are.
When a narcissist begins to lose control over an individual, they see that person as a threat to their carefully constructed public persona. In order to protect themselves, they resort to starting smear campaigns against their victims as a means of discrediting, isolating, and silencing them. These campaigns involve spreading gossip and false stories about the victim, ultimately serving the narcissist’s agenda.
By painting their victims as terrible individuals and themselves as amazing, narcissists believe they can absolve themselves of any blame. It is crucial to remember that narcissists do not reciprocate support or affection. They see others as tools to be exploited in order to get what they want.
3) They Attempt to Gaslight You
Gaslighting is a well-known form of psychological manipulation frequently employed by narcissists to regain control over others. Through subtle words and gestures, they erode the victim’s self-worth, alter their sense of reality, and undermine their ability to make rational decisions.
Narcissists achieve this by countering, denying, withholding, invalidating, generalizing, and diverting. A friend of mine was once involved in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist who always insisted that his actions were out of love for her. She believed his every word and action, convinced that he had her best interests at heart. However, it became evident to her friends and me that he was simply manipulating her.
It took her a great deal of introspection and support from her loved ones, but she eventually realized that she deserved better. Gaslighting is a powerful tool that narcissists use to control and manipulate their victims, but recognizing the tactics can empower individuals to break free.
4) They Try to Act Like the Victim
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Playing the victim is another common tactic employed by narcissists once they start losing control. When confronted with the possibility of their victim leaving, narcissists respond by guilt-tripping them through emotional blackmail. If the victim chooses to stay, the narcissist’s abuse is likely to escalate as punishment for even considering the idea of escape.
If the narcissist completely loses control over their victim, they may flip the script and act as though they are the injured party in the relationship. They will claim that the other person is abusive and deceitful. Unfortunately, this tactic often works in their favor. When victims attempt to defend themselves, they can unwittingly be seen as seeking revenge against the narcissist.
It is best to keep a safe distance from the narcissist and avoid direct name-calling, as this can potentially escalate the situation further.
5) They Go Into Narcissistic Rage
Many individuals fail to recognize that narcissists are inherently angry and that their rage lies just beneath the surface of their charming facade. When they lose control, they often explode in fits of rage in an attempt to regain power over their victims.
Narcissists believe they are entitled to everything and everyone, and tantrums and outbursts are their way of ensuring their desires are met. Witnessing a narcissistic rage can be terrifying, causing many individuals to appease the narcissist out of fear.
However, it is important to remember that giving in to their tantrums only reinforces this behavior, making it more frequent and intense. By recognizing the absurdity of their actions and understanding the underlying cause of their rage, individuals can learn to ignore it and walk away.
6) They Manipulate You By Triangulation
Triangulation is another manipulation tactic utilized by narcissists when they begin losing control of someone. This tactic involves bringing other individuals into the picture to support their agenda and further exacerbate their victim’s anxieties.
In romantic relationships, narcissists may keep their ex-partners around to incite jealousy and insecurity. This empowers them, as they have another trigger to torment their current partner with. During arguments, they may even gaslight their victims by claiming that everyone around them believes the victim is “crazy.”
While triangulation commonly occurs in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also manifest in families and work environments. It is crucial to recognize that narcissists do not reciprocate affection or support. They feel entitled to the servitude of others and will use anyone within their reach to achieve their goals.
7) They Use Silent Treatment and Trauma Bonding Tactics
Passive-aggressive behaviors such as the silent treatment and withdrawal are more subtle forms of narcissistic anger. They are just as harmful as violent outbursts, as they aim to make the victim feel insecure and excluded.
Narcissists use silent treatment as a punishment for behaviors that do not align with their goals. By cutting off all forms of communication, they hope to regain control over their victims by making them desperate for their attention. However, it is important to remember that their abuse will only worsen if they see that their tactics are effective.
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Silent treatment can lead to trauma bonding, where victims feel loyal to their abusers due to guilt and sporadic acts of kindness that overshadow the cruelty. It is crucial to recognize the manipulation and not fall into the trap of engaging further.
8) They Might Bait You to Get a Reaction
When a narcissist feels ignored by their victims, they will attempt to bait them into confrontation or eliciting a reaction. This feeds their ego and sense of power. Narcissistic baiting can take various forms, both physical and verbal, as they intentionally provoke individuals and trigger their deepest emotions.
I once knew someone who would constantly poke and prod me, particularly when I was busy or agitated. When I finally snapped and asked them to stop, they would laugh and claim that I couldn’t handle a simple joke. It was only when I completely ignored their provocations and cut them out of my life that I was able to escape their influence.
From my experience, I learned that narcissists thrive on intense emotions, using them as fuel for their manipulation. Reacting to their provocations only provides them with “proof” to support their narrative and paint the victim as the unstable one.
9) They Discard You First
When a narcissist realizes that their victim cannot be manipulated into returning to the toxic relationship, they often choose to discard the individual first. By doing so, they can control the narrative and portray themselves as the ones who ended the connection willingly, giving them an advantage in manipulating the story as they see fit.
Cutting victims off completely also allows the narcissist to regain power and control. Some narcissists may discard their victims but keep them hanging on as potential options for future manipulation or as a means to torment new prospects through triangulation.
10) They Replace You With Someone Else
For narcissists, it is crucial to have at least one person around them at all times to maintain their false persona. When they lose control of one individual, they are likely to replace them with someone else before the victim even has a chance to process the end of the relationship – assuming they didn’t already have someone waiting in the wings.
Witnessing the narcissist move on and be with another person can be heartbreaking for the victim, who is left to deal with the aftermath of a toxic relationship. Often, victims struggle to accept the true nature of the relationship, as they were manipulated and bonded with their abuser.
However, it is important to remember that you are free from the narcissist and all the abuse they inflicted on you. You are not the one waking up every day, desperately trying to fill the void in your soul by manipulating others for their affection.
If you’re seeking further advice on how to deal with narcissists, we recommend reading the following articles:
- 7 smart and simple ways to deal with a narcissist
- The ultimate guide to breaking up with a narcissist
- Covert narcissist: 5 things they do and how to handle them
By educating yourself on the tactics and behaviors of narcissists, you can better protect yourself and break free from their control.
Source: https://t-tees.com
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