Mary receives praise and honor for being the mother of Jesus. And, of course, Jesus is known by Christians to be God’s son, conceived by the Holy Spirit. What about the third member of Christ’s earthly family, a major presence at Jesus’ birth? We know from reading the gospels that Joseph was Jesus’ legal father, who played a strong but silent role at the nativity. In later gospel narratives, Joseph is a man barely mentioned. He is not with Mary at Christ’s crucifixion. So, where was Joseph when Jesus died?
What Do We Know about Joseph?
In Matthew 1:18-25, we learn the story of Joseph, the legal father of Jesus. Joseph hears the startling news that his betrothed girlfriend is pregnant. Since Joseph has never had relations with Mary, he concludes that she must have been unfaithful to him.
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As Sketches of Jewish Social Life explains, a first-century Jewish engagement was as binding as marriage. Hence, Mary could be convicted for committing adultery, and Old Testament law declared adultery punishable by stoning (Leviticus 20:10). Knowing that the only other socially acceptable option was to divorce Mary quietly, Joseph plans to do just that.
However, an angel appears and assures him that the Holy Spirit conceived Mary’s baby. Joseph accepted the angel’s message and his loyalty and supported Mary through her pregnancy and childbirth. His actions showed he was a good man, worthy of being Christ’s earthly father figure.
After Jesus’ birth, Joseph takes Mary and the baby, and they flee to Egypt to escape King Herod’s decree to kill all baby boys (Matthew 2:13-18). Herod’s decree came after hearing the Magi’s report that a “king of the Jews” was born recently (Matthew 2:1-3).
The gospels also tell of the holy family’s return to Nazareth at a later, safer time (Matthew 2:19-23). Coming home, Joseph and Mary must have faced raised eyebrows from their neighbors. The townspeople would remember Mary’s mysterious pregnancy and Joseph’s willingness to marry her. Joseph’s taking his family back to their hometown of Nazareth shows he was a mature man who didn’t care what his neighbors thought of him.
Following Jewish law, Joseph and Mary take baby Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem for his purification rights (Luke 2:22-23). The family meets a devout, elderly man named Simeon who is overjoyed to have lived to meet the promised Messiah:
“Simeon blesses them and says to Mary, ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too’” (Luke 2:34-35, emphasis added).
In the last sentence, Simeon prophesies that Mary will experience great joy and heartache as the mother of the Savior Jesus. Joseph is not directly addressed by Simeon, although Scripture says, “The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him” (Luke 2:33).
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On a later trip to the temple in Jerusalem during Passover, Mary and Joseph realize on the way back home that they forgot to bring Jesus with them. When His parents return to the temple to retrieve their son, they find him with teachers, listening and teaching. Mary asks Jesus, “‘Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.’” Jesus answers, ‘Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’” Jesus knows His real Father is God. There is no recorded comment from Joseph in this narrative (Luke 2:39-52), which is characteristic of him.
Jesus appears to be Mary and Joseph’s firstborn child, and His brothers and sisters are mentioned in several gospel narratives. When Jesus performs his first miracle of turning water into wine at the wedding feast in Cana, He goes to the wedding with “his mother and his brethren and his disciples” (John 2:1-5). Mark 3:21 explains what happened after Jesus had performed some notable miracles and teaching: “When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind.’” In this story, someone in the gathered crowd notifies Jesus that His mother and brothers have has arrived and are looking for Him. Jesus responds: “’Who are my mother and my brothers?’ he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother’” (Mark 3:31-35).
Jesus does not mention having a father in these Bible stories of His ministry. Perhaps it would have confused listeners, since he routinely talked about His heavenly father in these discussions. It may also be true that Joseph was no longer in Jesus’ life. In a Christianity.com article, Annette Griffin writes, “These conspicuous absences of His father Joseph in Scripture suggest that Joseph died before Jesus’ public ministry began.”
How Old Was Joseph When He Married Mary?
Mary and Joseph most likely began their marriage at young ages, appropriate for the culture of ancient Israel. Jewish girls aged 12 to 15 were often promised to eligible young men aged 18 or 19. The couple’s young ages accommodated the girls’ reproductive cycle and the boys’ mastering a skill with which to support a family. We can assume that Joseph and Mary were at these tender ages.
Sketches of Jewish Social Life explains that an engaged couple was considered bound as though they were already married. However, families didn’t let engaged couples be alone at any time before their wedding night. Traditional Jewish families arranged marriage for their sons and daughters within family clans to protect property ownership and religious faith. This explains why Joseph and Mary could trace their ancestry to King David (Luke 3:23-38, Matthew 1:1-16).
Where is the Last Mention of Joseph in the Gospels?
A confused set of people in Jesus’ hometown mention Joseph’s name for the last time in the gospels.
Sometime after Jesus fed the five thousand, he spoke about being the bread of life. Confused, some people said, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know?” (John 6:42). The locals find it difficult to believe that this man from humble roots is the Son of God.
A similar response happens in Matthew 13. Returning to Nazareth, Jesus began preaching, and people were surprised. They said, “Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?” (Matthew 13:54-56). This speech suggests Joseph was alive at this time. Or, at least his death was recent enough that everyone thought of him when someone mentioned “the carpenter.” After this mention, Joseph is absent from the story. Since scholars believe Jesus’ ministry lasted two to three years, it could well be that he had passed away by the time Jesus went to Jerusalem on Palm Sunday.
In fact, the gospels’ account of the crucifixion seems to confirm he was no longer around.
Was Joseph Dead When the Crucifixion Happened?
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There is no mention of Joseph at Christ’s crucifixion. Before His death on the cross, Jesus looks down on his beloved mother Mary in the small crowd and confirms that she will be taken care of in the future:
“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home” (John 19:25-27).
In those days in ancient Israel, as in many cultures today, women were taken care of by their husbands. A widow was fortunate if she had children to protect and provide for her in her husband’s absence. This is why Luke 7:11 emphasizes that a widow had lost her only son before Jesus raised that son from the dead—this dead son was her sole social security.
The fact that Jesus asked “the disciple he loved” (maybe John himself) to care for His mother suggests that Joseph was no longer alive to care for Mary.
So, the answer to our question, “where was Joseph when Jesus died?” seems to be that he had passed away. However, his legacy as the man who took Mary as his wife despite the social stigma, who supported his wife and children, has left an important impact on Christian tradition.
When Did Joseph Become a Saint?
Joseph was made a patron saint of the Roman Catholic Church in 1870 by Pope Pius IX. Joseph was also given sainthood in the Anglican, Eastern Orthodox, and Oriental Orthodox Churches. Catholic tradition refers to Joseph as the quiet man who gradually gained recognition and was honored as the patron saint of fathers of families, manual workers, and all who desire a holy death.
In an apostolic letter, Pope Francis dedicated the year 2021 to the memory of Joseph. The pope wrote, “Each of us can discover in Joseph – the man who goes unnoticed, a daily, discreet, and hidden presence – an intercessor, a supporter and a guide in times of trouble. St. Joseph reminds us that those who appear hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation.”
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Betty Dunn hopes her writing leads you to holding hands with God. A former high school English teacher, editor, and nonprofit agency writer, she now works on writing projects from her home in West Michigan, where she enjoys woods, water, pets and family. Check out her blog at Betty by Elizabeth Dunning and her website, www.elizabethdunning-wix.com.
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