I think you sent this before I answered this ask, but some of my general feelings about nessian are there!
They seemed in character to me in acosf, in that they had a lot of push and pull, and they are more antagonistic towards one another than sjm’s other couples. There is teasing and challenging each other, and there is being downright mean, and nessian can veer into being mean territory which, for me, means they’ll never be my favorite. (I just put that in bold because it’s the tl;dr of my feelings on their ship.) I like to explore the tension and how they try to grapple with one another emotionally, but it’s more an intellectual exercise for me, than something I like or have fun with.
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Re: the hike scene, Cassian didn’t send her off on the hike. Rhys ordered her out of Velaris and Azriel packed their bags before Cassian even got to him, so putting this whole situation on Cassian is inaccurate. Rhys saying he was going to kill Nesta was absolutely out of line, but he was acting in fear and anger. I can make you a list of times where Nesta also reacts in fear and anger, and the fandom tries to make excuses for her all the time. It’s a messy situation and I don’t think anyone comes out of it looking good, is my point. But it involves many more people than just Cassian and Nesta, its root had nothing to do with Cassian, so I don’t think that it says anything about their romantic relationship, necessarily.
I’ve seen other people make the same statement as you, that it seems like Nesta won’t have someone ready to throw down for her the way that Feyre does, that we assume Elain will, that Aelin does, etc. That’s fair! Perhaps that will come with time? We haven’t seen nessian as a couple post-her dealing with her trauma and guilt in acosf. I think it’s absolutely possible that she will get that. acosf ended right at the point of them finally coming together and accepting that they were going to be together and be mates, so we haven’t yet seen them in a committed, public relationship! Now that I think of it, what fluff did we get in acosf? Nesta’s most light-hearted moments were all with Gwyn and Emerie. I think we will get that with her and Cassian later on.
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I guess my question with Cassian is – what would people have preferred Cassian do differently, that 1) would be in character, and 2) wouldn’t force him to take sides? I absolutely hate the idea that Cassian is supposed to be the bigger person all the time because that’s not how relationships works, it’s incredibly unfair to him, and it also puts him in a weird dad/therapist position to Nesta, which is also not how relationships work. If we were to switch their genders, I think it’d be easier to see how and why that’s such a troubling role to ask one person in a relationship to take.
*side note, I am just putting this post out here as my opinion and I’m not looking to have that changed. I don’t care enough to engage in debate about who was meaner to whom. I’m here for character analysis, not character wars. Ultimately, I don’t care to engage in a verbal fight about which character was “more wrong” or who was meaner or who was morally superior. (This is not directed at you anon, just at anyone who might get ideas about coming into my inbox to fight. IDC.)
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