Who or whom, what’s the difference? When should you use who and when should you use whom?

Search any grammar book or google who or whom and you’ll get clear grammatical answers; who and whom have formal rules and you should follow them. Or should you? Do native English speakers follow the formal grammar rules of who or whom?

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WHO OR WHOM? – THE GRAMMAR RULES

Who is used in the subject position and whom in the object position and after a preposition according to all English grammar books and course books. However, is this rule actually used in real-life everyday native English?Click To Tweet

So the subject of a sentence is the person or thing being discussed in the sentence and the object is the person or thing towards which an action is being directed, for example:

He thinks of her. (He is the subject of the sentence and her is the object).

We can substitute he and her for who and whom to ask a question – who thinks of whom? (Who is the subject and whom is the object and is after a preposition)

Grammatically correct this is all correct. However, a native English speaker is more likely to say who thinks of who? So if a native speaker doesn’t follow the rules laid down in the grammar books, which is correct? And that’s the big debate.

The fact is that whether you want to follow the laid-down grammar rules or not, in everyday spoken and written English you are unlikely to hear or see the pronoun whom used much at all. Native speakers prefer to use who for the subject and for the object of a sentence.

WHO or WHO – SOMETIMES IT DEPENDS ON THE CONTEXT – FORMAL OR INFORMAL

There are a few set phrases where whom is correct and it’s always good to use it in formal writing. Otherwise, it’s who. Whom is usually considered to be too formal by most native speakers. If you asked someone, for example, whom should I call? the reply may be a smile or even laughter at your formality.

USING WHO OR WHOM IN REAL-LIFE ENGLISH

In everyday English, native speakers will use who in place of whom in most situations. That makes things easy for everyone. In addition, we tend to avoid even making the decision between who or whom by employing alternative words or sentence structures.

For example, a telephone conversation may go like this:

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Who’s calling (who is the subject)

It’s Mr Smith

To whom do you wish to speak Mr Smith (whom is used after a preposition and as the object)

For everyday real-life English, the second sentence would generally become:

Who do you wish to speak to? (this sentence would also annoy pedants who believe you shouldn’t put a preposition at the end of a sentence but hey – it’s how we speak)

The manager for whom I work is rude

The becomes:

The manager who I work for is rude, or

The manager I work for is rude, or

The manager that I work for is rude

SOMETIMES YOU DO HAVE TO USE WHOM

Although in everyday life whom is generally not used, there are some situations where you should always use it.

1. Formal writing. If you are writing a formal document at work or university it is advisable to follow the standard grammar rules and to use whom where formal grammar dictates. This is even more advisable if you are studying English of course. In some formal situations, you may sometimes get away with who as an object but you must always use whom after a preposition.

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2. Where a quantifier is used in the sentence you must always use whom . Quantifiers include: all of, both of, many of, few of, a number, none of, a lot of and several of. For example:

I invited the whole family, all of whom enjoyed the evening.

3. Certain set formal expressions. For example:

To whom it may concern (used in some formal letter introductions)

Without whom (I wish to thank my mother, without whom I would never have succeeded

USING WHO OR WHOM IN REAL LIFE

The rule for using who and whom is that that it’s all about the situation. Are you in a formal or informal everyday situation? Mostly you’ll be in informal everyday situations so you’ll mainly be using who.Click To Tweet

It is important to understand the rules of who and whom if you’re studying English formally or if you need to speak or write in formal situations. I would expect BBC presenters, for example, to speak correctly and use who and whom in the formally prescribed grammatical manner.

For writers, you can use who and whom to set the formality of a scene or show the formality or even social class of the speaker.

I would expect to see the grammar rule followed in quality newspapers and publications too. In most other situations, bar the exceptions I’ve shown above, whom is considered far too formal and it’s best and more natural to use who.

WHO OR WHOM?

You will come across grammar pendants who insist that the written-down rules should be observed in all situations. The point is though, that native English speakers adapt their language and grammar depending on the social situation.

Most people will adapt and use the correct register in the correct situation, probably without being aware or being able to explain why. It’s all about speaking English the way real people do every day.

Let me know your views about who or whom by commenting below.

Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHICH