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Which Pro Golfers Are Jerks

As a flippant young twit, I would occasionally venture outside the box of proper family behavior and when I did, Mom would call me, “A pill.”

To know a Jerk is to have been one

In kid baseball my dad, who was our manager, benched me occasionally for what he considered being “chesty.” At times my brother referred to me as, “A real lulu.”

These are vintage expressions that exist today under different labels.

A 1950s pill was someone who could be a tad devilish and infuriating. Today we call this person a brat.

Chesty was a word to describe someone, particularly in athletics, as being full of self. Today we call him cocky; smug and swaggering. A presumptuous smarty pants.

A real lulu today is one who is, “A real piece of work or, “A pain in the b-.”

Have you ever been a jerk? I have, so I feel qualified to speak on the makeup of a jerk.

Today, I’m thinking about our beloved sport of golf and the mounting unseemly side of the PGA. With confessions past, I don’t feel hypocritical in calling out the increasing number of jerks on the PGA tour.

Defined, jerk is one who is rude, small-minded, self-centered . . . a jackass.

Keeping in mind that perfection is something to strive for but impossible to achieve, the PGA is becoming as insufferable as any sport where it comes to prosperous prima donnas. While good guys still exist in the vintage mode of Byron Nelson and Arnold Palmer, jerks abound.

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Many golf magazines and internet polls concur on pro golf’s most infamous jerks. High on the list of insensitive clods are Reed, Sabatini, Poulter, DeChambeau, Garcia, Mickelson, Woods and Bubba Watson. However, we are seeing a more gracious version of Tiger today.

The most approachable (meaning likeable) pros include: Fowler, Scott, Snedeker, Day, Justin Thomas, Spieth, McDowell and Rose. Matt Kucher fell out of favor after stiffing his caddy, both in money and insensitive words. He apologized, but, as they say, the toothpaste was already out of the tube.

And then there’s Dustin Johnson, whose talent is staggering, but very hard to like personally. Why robotic DJ even bothers to acknowledge making a birdie putt with his patented faint wave to the crowd and painfully slow stride to and from the hole is baffling.

The best way to describe DJ is that he is so good, so bad and, oh, so boring.

We should remember, however, that professional golf is played by talented human beings with frailty. Enjoy great shots by the jerks, appreciate the good guys and please stop yelling, “GET IN THE HOLE,” on 440-yard drives.

See, we all have our own blemishes.

Ted Buss can be reached by emailing [email protected].

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