Pain from betrayal, shame, and rejection, may have left your heart bitter and hardened. However, facing the pain, forgiving everyone involved, and processing your loss through the cross, are the first steps to healing. Forgiveness isn’t saying “okay” to lousy behavior, nor is it a promise to anyone that the marriage will continue. Rather it frees you to walk with Jesus through this and gives you access to the grace and strength He provides. Maybe you have been a faithful spouse. Remember, just like your spouse, you need God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness. Apart from Jesus’ saving work, you are also guilty and condemned, yet your sins have been forgiven because of your simple faith. Based on this truth, we must extend forgiveness (Matthew 16:8). The following 8 prayers will help you move from the pain and into the healing and forgiveness Christ offers you.

1. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, – Philippians 3:13 NLT

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Lord Jesus, I can’t see beyond what happened here. I look to You who sees and knows all things. Everything is visible to Your eyes. Help me see what You see at this moment. I make the conscious choice to lay the painful past at Your feet. Help me trust You with what lies ahead of me on this journey.

2. The LORD hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. 18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. – Psalm 34:17-18 NLT

God help me! Rescue me from what has happened in my marriage. I trust You will always be with me and never leave or forsake me. You are faithful even when people are not. I believe with You near me, I will be able to get through this.

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3. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18 NLT

Lord Jesus, I give You all the pain I feel right now from this. I submit everything I feel about (Name your spouse and/or any guilty party). Please help me as I do all I can to live peacefully with them. I need the power of Your Spirit to do this and cannot do this in my own strength.

4. “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:15 NLT

Jesus, I look to what You have done in giving Your life for my sin at the cross. I know that when You died, You took into Your body this sin. As I wrestle through this, forgive me for holding my spouse in unforgiveness. I let (Name your spouse and/or any guilty party) out of the contract and release them completely to You. I forgive them for this sin against me and our marriage.

5. For I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin. – Acts 8:23 NLT

Jesus, I know You see my bitter jealousy. Set me free from its captivity. I need You to help me through this as I give this pain over to You. Holy Spirit, please, come and work in my heart a deep comfort that only You can bring. I humble myself and lay my life before You, inviting You to work in this place. I reach out to You who alone is faithful and has the power and ability to set me free.

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6. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT

Lord Jesus, here is all my bitterness, rage, anger, and harsh words. Keep me from retaliating with slander or other evil behavior. I need Your power to work in such a way that I can respond with kindness here in my heart. I forgive, as God, through Christ, has forgiven me.

7. “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” – Luke 6:28 NLT

Father, in Jesus’ name, I bless (Name your spouse and/or any guilty party) even though it feels like they have brought evil into our marriage. I pray for them to be restored and to experience Your mercies. I pray for Your kindness to be over their life and for Your goodness to befall them.

8. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 NLT

Lord Jesus, I will continue in my weakness and bring the struggles I have with this. Over and over, I wrestle through this, yet I trust You. I trust that Your grace is all I need. I trust that Your power will work perfectly in this broken place my life is in.

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