A rehearsal dinner is not just any ordinary dinner; it’s the pre-wedding event where the couple and their loved ones come together to celebrate and bond before the big day. The question of who pays for the rehearsal dinner is a common one, especially when parents are divorced. In this article, we’ll explore the various options and etiquette surrounding the financial responsibility of hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner.
Traditions and Options for Rehearsal Dinner Hosts
Traditionally, the groom’s family is expected to foot the bill for the rehearsal dinner. However, times have changed and there are now multiple options for hosts. In addition to the groom’s parents, the bride’s parents, close friends, family members, or even the couple themselves can take on the role of the host and cover the expenses. It’s also possible for multiple parties to share the costs and planning responsibilities. The key is to remember that whoever contributes financially has a say in the decision-making process, from the guest list to the venue. Moreover, the hosts usually give a toast during the event. If the couple wants full control over the planning process, they can take on the responsibility of hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner themselves.
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For example, if the groom’s parents are unable to contribute financially, but the bride’s parents are willing to host the rehearsal dinner, they can take on this role. Alternatively, the couple can opt to split the costs with both sets of parents to ensure everyone feels included and respected.
Planning with Divorced Parents
When parents are divorced, planning a wedding can become more complicated. It’s essential to have an open conversation with all parents at the beginning of the planning process to discuss their willingness and ability to contribute financially, as well as their desired level of involvement. If divorced parents are willing and able to work together, they can split the cost and planning responsibilities and host the event together. They can even give separate toasts and choose to sit separately during the dinner. However, if cooperation is not feasible, one parent can host the rehearsal dinner while another can host another wedding-related event, such as the next-day brunch or engagement party. It’s important to remember that hosting an event is not obligatory, and parents should not feel pressured to do so if it does not align with their budget or availability.
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For instance, if divorced parents are unable to collaborate amicably and one parent is unable to host the rehearsal dinner, they can explore other options, such as hosting a separate dinner with their side of the family or contributing in other ways to support the wedding planning process.
Understanding Rehearsal Dinner Budget
When considering who pays for the rehearsal dinner, it’s essential to have a clear understanding of the associated expenses. The average cost of a rehearsal dinner is $2,300, but this can vary based on the location and the size of the event. Couples who choose to keep the guest list limited to immediate family and members of the wedding party may pay less compared to those who include all out-of-town guests or their entire wedding guest list, which is more common in destination weddings. The key is to determine whether the rehearsal dinner will be part of the total wedding budget or a separate budget altogether.
The rehearsal dinner budget typically includes expenses such as:
- Rehearsal Dinner Venue
- Catering (food and drink)
- Flowers and Decorations
- Rentals (table linens, china, flatware, glassware, etc.)
- Invitations and Paper Goods (menus, place cards, etc.)
- Attire
- Professional Photography (optional)
- Other Vendors (DJ, hair and makeup, entertainment, if desired)
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For example, if the couple chooses an all-inclusive venue like a restaurant or country club, many of these services may already be included. However, if they opt for a separate venue, they will need to hire individual vendors for various aspects of the rehearsal dinner.
Tips for Rehearsal Dinner Budgeting
Planning a rehearsal dinner can become expensive if not done carefully. Here are some practical tips to help keep costs manageable without compromising on the experience:
Keep the guest list small
Limiting the number of guests to those who attend the wedding ceremony rehearsal, such as immediate family members and the wedding party, can help control expenses.
Throw a casual event
Consider hosting a casual and inexpensive event, such as a pizza dinner or BBQ in a backyard, to cut down on food costs.
Book an all-inclusive venue
Choosing a venue that offers in-house catering, bar services, and rentals can simplify the planning process and potentially save money. Popular options include restaurants, country clubs, hotels, and banquet halls.
Skip the assigned seating
Opting for open seating rather than a formal seating chart can create a more casual ambiance and eliminate the need for escort cards and place cards.
Forgo a plated dinner
Buffet or cocktail-style meals are often more cost-effective than a formal seated dinner, and these options align well with the relaxed atmosphere of a rehearsal dinner.
Plan a rehearsal lunch or brunch
Consider hosting the rehearsal event earlier in the day with a lunch or brunch menu. This can be a more affordable option compared to an evening event.
Limit the bar
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Instead of offering a full open bar, consider serving wine, beer, and a signature cocktail to manage alcohol costs.
Save on attire
Use the rehearsal dinner as an opportunity to be more budget-conscious with attire. Renting outfits, repurposing existing clothing, or borrowing accessories can help save money without compromising on style.
Select inexpensive invitations
Look for affordable printed rehearsal dinner invitations or consider sending online invitations to reduce costs. Including rehearsal dinner invitations with the main wedding invitations can also save on postage.
Choose affordable decorations
If the rehearsal dinner is held in a venue that is already well-decorated, avoid additional decor expenses. Budget-friendly decorations can be found online or at local stores to enhance the ambiance without breaking the bank.
Consider an after-party
If the guest list for the actual rehearsal dinner is limited, consider inviting other guests to join for desserts or drinks at a separate location. This allows for inclusive celebration without the need to provide a full meal.
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For instance, hosting a rehearsal lunch instead of a dinner can be a cost-effective choice, especially if the couple is planning an evening wedding. This way, they can save on food and drink expenses while still providing a memorable experience for their loved ones.
In conclusion, when it comes to who pays for the rehearsal dinner, there are various options to consider, especially when parents are divorced. It’s important to have open conversations with all involved parties to determine who is willing and able to contribute financially. Considering the associated expenses and implementing budgeting tips can help ensure a successful rehearsal dinner that reflects the couple’s desires and respects everyone’s contributions.
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