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Who Wrote Love The One You’re With

Happy birthday to Stephen Stills.

No one my age is optimistic about their future. Except politicians.”

Stephen Stills

There is a quote for the times, ironically it is from the man who wrote ‘For What It’s Worth’ over 54 years ago.

It is difficult to come up with superlatives when one looks back on the career of this phenomenal songwriter and innovative guitarist. Today’s version of Ted Tocks Covers will aim to profile Stephen Stills, using the timeless ‘Love the One You’re With’ as the primary focus.

In late 1966, Stephen Stills wrote the timeless classic ‘For What It’s Worth’ from Buffalo Springfield. As a musician he has made it a point to never look back. That approach has served him well. As opportunities arose Stills fully immersed himself with a variety of collaborations that continually yielded classic material that showcased Stills as a top-notch lyricist, evocative songwriter and influential guitarist. It was that ability to adapt to constant change that became his greatest asset.

As the son of a military father, Stephen Stills was forced to move around a lot as a young boy right through his high school years. Despite the transient lifestyle, Stills was able to enlist music as a constant companion. Blues and folk music were his primary interests and as a result of some time in Panama and El Salvador he also became intrigued with the stylings of Latin music. This combination of influence came through on several occasions throughout his career.

By the early ‘60s Stephen Stills had finished high school and he opted to take a stab at higher education. He enrolled at Louisiana State University but dropped out a short time later. Ultimately, his mission became a pursuit of music. There were a series of bands in the early days, but one that really jumped out at me was a combination he worked with while living in Gainesville, Florida. Check out these names from approximately 1962/3. Stephen Stills was in a band with Don Felder, a future member of the Eagles, called The Continentals. When Stills left the band, presumably to explore the bright lights of New York City he was replaced by another future member of The Eagles, Bernie Leadon. While Stills and Leadon were developing this act, Felder spent about eighteen months teaching guitar at a local music store. One of his students was an energetic young guitarist with major aspirations. His name was Tom Petty.

Back to Stephen Stills; as mentioned he opted to head north to Greenwich Village where he began as a folk singer at the popular coffeehouse known as Gerde’s Folk City. From here, his network evolved, and he was recruited by a nine member vocal harmony group that became known as the Au Go Go Singers. One notable member of this ensemble was Richie Furay. This friendship becomes important…

In 1965, Stephen Stills and four members of the Au Go Go Singers formed a group called The Company. They recorded one album and did a small tour of upstate New York and central Canada. While on this tour The Company visited Winnipeg, Manitoba and then headed to a northern Ontario venue in Fort William/Thunder Bay called The Flamingo. Here they met a group called The Squires who were led by a determined guitarist by the name of Neil Young. Stills and Young became fast friends.

By this time, you are likely thinking Stephen Stills had a magnetic personality. Wherever he went, he attracted greatness. The very short time spent together became an inspiration for both artists. They were connected by a single mission. They wanted to play music in a rock band. By the time the pair and their respective acts left Thunder Bay, elements of their fate had been determined. Neil Young was going to go and seek his fortune as a solo artist in first Winnipeg and then Toronto. Stephen Stills decided he was going to pursue session work in California. As much as they could in 1965, Stills and Young suggested they would keep in touch. When Stills got back to New York he tracked his friend Richie Furay down and convinced him to move to Los Angeles. Shortly after arriving, Stills, who was always open to opportunities, auditioned for an act that would become known as The Monkees. Fortunately, less than a year later one of music’s most fascinating stories occurred on a busy Sunset Boulevard. (See ‘Helpless’). Buffalo Springfield was born.

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For a variety of reasons, Buffalo Springfield was a shooting star in the history of music, but their influence on the rock and roll family tree is still evident to this day. After three albums they disbanded. Most significantly, the breakup sent Neil Young on his way to a remarkable solo career that, as we all know weaved its way in and out of the orbit of many acts, and it also saw Stephen Stills explore new avenues. His initial project was a well-received session from 1968 that included former Bob Dylan collaborators Mike Bloomfield and Al Kooper.

It was later in 1968 that things really took off for Stephen Stills. While hanging out in Laurel Canyon, he met David Crosby who had just left The Byrds, and Graham Nash of The Hollies. They began to share ideas, and write, and most importantly sing. This collaboration was magical from the moment it began. With songs inspired by Stephen Stills’ girlfriend Judy Collins and material that was rejected by The Hollies and The Byrds, Crosby, Stills & Nash released their acclaimed debut album which tested the outer edges of vocal expression and folk, country, blues and even a hint of psychedelic rock. It hit the top ten and went quadruple platinum. Before heading out on tour, Crosby, Stills & Nash felt they needed to strengthen their sound for stage production. They initially considered John Sebastian from The Lovin’ Spoonful, but at the suggestion of Atlantic Records’ Ahmet Ertegun they reached out to an old friend…Neil Young.

The first Crosby Stills Nash & Young tour began in August of 1969. Their second gig was an extraordinary performance at Woodstock, which left an indelible mark on music history. By the time the tour ended in January, the quartet was in a state of disarray. The seemingly predestined partnership of Stills and Young had dissolved into an epic power struggle. However, they were still able to record. During this time, they managed to create the essential album, ‘Déjà Vu’. A second tour to promote ‘Déjà vu’ ended in July of 1970 and due to a clash of egos, the original incarnation of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young broke up. Stephen Stills headed to England to explore the music scene and record a solo album.

Once again, Stephen Stills attracted the biggest names in recording. Check this out. The album included Eric Clapton, Cass Elliot, Booker T. Jones, Rita Coolidge and Ringo Starr as well as his CSN friends David Crosby and Graham Nash. Dallas Taylor and Johnny Barbata who served as the drummers on CSNY’s first two recordings also contributed. It was this self-titled solo debut that gave us ‘Love the One You’re With’. Depending on who is telling the story, the famous line “If you can’t be with the one you live you’ve got to love the one you’re with” was offered either by the prolific keyboard player, Billy Preston or famous backup singer Doris Troy who were both spending in time in England, working with George Harrison. Maybe it was both of them? As the story goes, Stephen Stills was at a party lamenting the fact that his girlfriend was back home. He was becoming a little homesick. The soothing advice he was given became the foundation to this song, which is now a little over a half century old.

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Here are the lyrics that Stephen Stills applied to convey his feelings on a personal basis, and then the philosophy of the free love movement of the era. As you read the lyrics, sing along with this demo. This will give you a sense of how good an acoustic player Stephen Stills is. Incredible.

If you’re down and confusedAnd you don’t remember who you’re talking toConcentration slip awayBecause your baby is so far away

Well, there’s a rose in a fisted gloveAnd the eagle flies with the doveAnd if you can’t be with the one you love, honeyLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re with

Don’t be angry, don’t be sadDon’t sit crying over good times you’ve hadThere’s a girl right next to youAnd she’s just waiting for something to do

And there’s a rose in a fisted gloveAnd the eagle flies with the doveAnd if you can’t be with the one you love, honeyLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re with

Love the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re with

Turn your heartache right into joy‘Cause she’s a girl and you’re a boyGet it together, make it niceYou ain’t gonna need any more advice

And there’s a rose in a fisted gloveAnd the eagle flies with the doveAnd if you can’t be with the one you love, honeyLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re withLove the one you’re with

Stephen Stills

For Stephen Stills. ‘Love the One Your With’ became his biggest selling solo hit.

Here are a few other anecdotes from this very productive period of time for Stephen Stills. As much as he was homesick, Stills did love the English countryside. So much so, he actually bought a mansion in Surrey from another prominent musician…Ringo Starr. The residence was known as Brookfields. Before Ringo owned the home, it was the home of famous actor Peter Sellers.

Another friendship renewed while Stephen Stills was in England was with Jimi Hendrix. Stills and Hendrix had crossed paths on several occasions, most notably Monterey Pop Festival and Woodstock. It is well documented that Jimi Hendrix loved to jam with the great guitarists of the day and in Jimi Hendrix’s mind Stephen Stills was among the upper tier. This jam session from 1968 is highly regarded among music fans. When Hendrix learned that Stills was recording a solo album in England, he was happy to contribute to ‘Old Times, Good Times’. First, here is that recording.

Here is the epic jam session between Jimi and Stephen. Dallas Taylor is on drums. This is an interesting hour that captures a snapshot of music history.

An interesting fact is that this Stephen Stills solo album is the only time that Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix provide their guitar prowess on the same album.

After returning from England, and before heading back to California, Stephen Stills spent some time in the mountains of Colorado. It was here that Stephen Stills received the news of Jimi Hendrix’s passing. The photo on the album cover captures a moment of reflection. Here is the story as shared by photographer Henry Diltz.

After Deja Vu, CSN went on a bit of a hiatus and Stephen invited me to join him in Colorado. Gold Hill was way up in the Colorado mountains. While we were there Stephen received word that Jimi Hendrix had passed away so everybody was very sad. We sat up the whole night talking, telling stories and remembering him. When dawn came up the next morning it had snowed overnight, and everything was blanketed in white. I grabbed my camera and Stephen grabbed his guitar, we ran outside, and I started taking pictures of him sitting on a chair in the middle of the snow. Sometime later this photo was chosen for his first album cover.”

Henry Diltz

Another moment in time captured for the ages.

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For fifty years since this album was released Stephen Stills has remained both essential and accomplished. Additional projects have included the eclectic act, Manassas with ex Byrd Chris Hillman, additional CSNY and solo forays, as well as efforts to recreate the magic with Neil Young. Most recently, Stephen Stills has recorded with Kenny Wayne Shepherd and Barry Goldberg in a strong blues band known as the Rides.

In 2017, things came full circle in some regards, as Stills reunited with Judy Collins on ‘Everybody Knows’. The album was well received, and the pair embarked on a tour to promote its release.

The ultimate message stemming from this post is Stephen Stills seems to be a vessel that embodies a sixty year period of music history. It is a fascinating tour that includes so many of the biggest names in music as well as some of the most iconic events.

What a career…and he will be the first to tell you, it is not over.

There are several quality cover versions of ‘Love the One You’re With.’ The song grabbed musicians right out of the gate. Here are the Isley Brothers from 1971 on their album ‘Givin’ it Back’.

I had never heard Aretha Frankin’s version of ‘Love the One You’re With’ but the Queen of Soul’s version is typical of everything she does; excellent. It resides as essential listening.

An immediate connection to Aretha Franklin is her long time saxophone player King Curtis. Here is his instrumental version from 1972.

In 1986, the U.K. pop group Buck’s Fizz recorded ‘Love the One You’re With’. For this act, ‘Love the One You’re With’ was somewhat of a “make it or break it” release. It didn’t really work, and it seems to have ended the original incarnation.

I have included Bucks Fizz in a previous post. (See ‘What’s Love Got to Do With It’ )

One more cover before I sign off.

Check out this version by the soulful Luther Vandross. It is interesting to listen to so many versions that took ‘Love the One You’re With’ from a rock/folk song to a soul-based interpretation. This speaks to Stephen Stills vast influence as a songwriter. This is a brilliant interpretation.

Before you head out and enjoy your day listen to this version from Crosby, Stills & Nash during their ‘Daylight Again’ tour in 1982. The trio has a ton of energy and so much of it is fueled by the great keyboard work by the always solid Michael Finnegan.

Have a great day. Hopefully you can spend it with the one you love.

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