A response might arise such as:
- They don’t respect me
- I am stuffing this marriage thing up
- They are bored with me
- They are not hearing my needs
- They might leave me
And what is beneath these fears, if we shine a light deep into our soul? It is most likely the age old fear of: I am not enough. BINGO.
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Now that you got there, let yourself feel this fear. Don’t rush off now. This is where it starts shifting. Let it wash over you. Feel all your cells welcome your truth and open to the discomfort of it. Let your wisdom in.
If you have been working with a coach, you will know what to do with your fear. If not, just acknowledge it and let yourself feel it as much as is comfortable. Breathe and trust. Trust that you can do this, trust that feeling the fear releases you from being stuck in mean girl mode. Trust that your heart is more than capable of feeling this.
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So let’s get clear: you are a bitch to the one you love and care about because you fear that you are not enough. In short: intimacy triggers your abandonment wounds.
This old pattern of being a bitch is not really working as your sub-conscious had planned. In fact, when we see it like this, it is kind of counter intuitive. Being mean is taking you further from the connection and love that you truly desire. This pattern is (most likely) not about your partner. This is about you trusting that you are worthy to be loved.
Now you know this, you can take it with you the next time you feel yourself wanting to be a bitch to your partner. When you feel yourself slipping into the chasm of the mean girl, pause and acknowledge your deeper fear. Instead of jumping in bitchy, let yourself feel the fear. You will start to see a way to honour your needs, communicate your deeper fears and be real, open and vulnerable with your partner.
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY
