One of the most common stereotypes that circulates about the French is that they are rude by nature. Stories of hostile interactions with sour French people get passed around so often that Jalen and I are routinely asked how we can bear to live alongside the French. As two Americans living in France, we’re here to set the story straight.
Are stereotypes accurate?
Let’s begin by making it clear that French people are not a monolith, and we should always keep in mind that no two people of any nationality are exactly the same. Furthermore, there are disagreeable and downright mean people from every country in the world. Finally, though stereotypes are sometimes based in an iota of truth, they don’t always tell the whole story.
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Consider the fact that many people in the world believe that all Americans are disrespectful, boisterous, and unintelligent. Though many Americans don’t think of themselves as discourteous or empty-headed, the stereotype remains prevalent.
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That said, making generalizations can help us discern and discuss the broad strokes of a country’s culture. If we’re going to simplify the French people and speak generally about them, we should at least be honest about how they really behave.
Why do we say the French are rude?
Let’s investigate some of the aspects of French culture that lead people to perceive the French as unpleasant.
When compared to Americans, the French are rather direct. While sugar-coated critiques are the norm in the United States, the French prefer matter-of-fact candor without too much consideration for feelings. For example, in the French school system, students’ grades are less than private. Teachers often read pupils’ scores aloud and give verbal evaluation in front of the class. While this sort of brutal honesty would be considered a blatant disregard of privacy and sensitivities in the United States, it’s a fixed feature of the French mindset. French frankness can be seen as malicious by Americans who prefer to give gentle feedback over harsh criticisms.
Big smiles, loud laughter, and chatting with strangers are normal parts of daily life in the United States. Americans act this way to display their friendliness outwardly. In France, however, this sort of behavior is anything but standard. Interactions with strangers start and end with a polite greeting in France, leading Americans to believe the French are cold and standoffish. While Americans find that involving people they don’t know in conversation is amiable, the French prefer to exist quietly amongst strangers, giving others space to go about their days. All things considered, leaving people in peace is just the French way of expressing the kindness that Americans try to convey with small talk.
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In the United States, the customer is king. When you’re accustomed to America’s over-the-top customer service culture, your interactions with French service providers may feel shocking. For example, in the United States, you can expect top-notch customer service at restaurants, as servers make the majority of their income from tips. Nonetheless, you’d be kidding yourself to believe that American servers go above and beyond out of the kindness of their hearts. When your ability to pay the bills is directly correlated with how much customers appreciate your performance, it’s easy to see why American servers are extremely attentive, smiley, and expeditious at work. This compulsory service-with-a-smile attitude is less prevalent in France where doing a satisfactory job is perfectly acceptable. The French simply expect servers to take their order, deliver their food, and present the bill. Americans might feel slighted while eating out in France, leading them to deem the employees unlikeable because of this cultural difference.
Is Franco-American camaraderie possible?
In reality, the vast majority of negative stereotypes about the French disposition are easily dispelled with a bit of critical thinking and cultural competence. Understanding the points of difference between American and French culture paves the way to finding the aspects of the two ways of life that are actually complementary. For example, French friends often describe me as souriante, or cheerful, because while I don’t flash my teeth at strangers, I don’t hide my American smile altogether either – meaning I’m considered pleasant to be around by many French people. Furthermore, Jalen has come to appreciate French people’s honesty, as it has helped him to perfect his performance in the workplace more quickly than if the French simply doled out compliments.
In other words, French and American cultures are more compatible than they may seem on the surface.
What clichés have you heard about the French? How might your own culture influence your perception of others? Let us know in a comment!
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Category: WHY
