Why Cant I Pee On An Airplane

Long haul flights mean large planes, which means 2 to 4 toilets in a block. Your negative thought about the flight attendant in the aisle or the passengers in the seats you pass… “they know I’m in here and are wondering why I’m taking so long” is not true. Contradict the thought by saying “even with a queue, no-one remembers who went in which toilet and when”.

When you walk along the aisle and people look up at you, your negative thought is “they know I’m going to the toilet (and they are setting a stop-watch!)”. This is not true. People get so bored staring at the same thing for hours on end, that any movement of any sort causes them to look up. They may even assess the clothes you are wearing, but once you have passed by, you are out of their thoughts altogether.

When you walk along the aisle, defocus, and do not look at people’s faces. Similarly when you come out of the toilet.

When you are in the aircraft toilet, it is yours for as long as you need it. If someone was constipated that could be for a very long time. No-one knows or cares what you are doing in there, so say to yourself “they are busy eating, reading, watching a film, and sleeping.” Remember you are out of sight so “out of sight, out of mind.”

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If you misfire, you can go again a bit later, with no need to explain or justify yourself. On a plane the author seems to go about every two hours – it’s no problem. People often get up to stretch their legs, to get the blood flowing again and going to the loo passes the time!

Check out the toilet early in the flight when you don’t need a pee. That way you get over the novelty before you need to use it in earnest. Deliberately stay in there two minutes. It’s a very simple way of pushing yourself into some graduated exposure without the stress of trying to pee.

Before leaving, compose yourself and set your face into a slight smile. That way when you come out you won’t experience any reaction from anyone. Again do not look at people’s faces: instead defocus.

Drink plenty (not coffee or alcohol) as it’s easy to dehydrate on a long-distance flight and peeing is easier when you have a good urge.

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