Why Did I Get Married Angela

Dianne : How do you really know that you’re spouse is cheating anyway? I mean really?

Sheila : If you think he’s cheating, then he’s cheating.

Dianne : Wait a second, just because you suspect, that doesn’t mean it’s truth… it just doesn’t.

Angela : I disagree with that. Dianne, every time I caught Marcus cheating, I knew it before I found out. I know because I know how to listen to that voice on the inside of me, that tells me when a man is cheating.

Dianne : mmhmm, that voice…

Sheila : Yeah, but you smoked so much weed in college, baby, you might not want to listen to that voice in *your* head, It’s probably *still* high.

[laughs]

Sheila : … Seriously, if you’re always in a chemically induced state, you might want to reconsider everything that you’re doing… and thinking too.

Angela : What is this, an intervention? That has absolutely nothing to do with it. I know how to tell. If your man, if he goes to work all day long and then comes home, smellin’ like a fresh bar of soap, somethings up. I ain’t got time to be sittin’ around all day guessin’.

Sheila : Relationships are supposed to be about… trust.

Angela : Now, I’m an old school fool. I’m checkin’ his bank statements, I’m checkin’ his credit card statements, I’m checkin’ his time card at work and I’m comparin’ it to the hours that he said he was workin’ and it better match the money that he has comin’ home. I’m checkin’ his cell phone bill, I’m checkin’ the numbers that he was callin’ on his cell phone bill, I’m checkin’ his mileage in the car. His job is 10.5 miles, the kid’s school is 2.1 miles. I check the mileage when he goes to Terry and Dianne’s house. That is 6.7 miles… and when any of those miles come back 2.2 or 5.6 or 7.9 or 10.7… if he comes back and I see 4.8th and a half of a mile, that means he came from Keisha house, he road to the store to get come breath spray…

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Sheila : Do you check his pulse when he walks through the door?

Angela : His resting heart rate is 42 beats a minute. If Marcus comes home to the house and he claim he was at work all day, if that resting heartbeat is 58 beats a minute, he been *cheatin*!

Dianne : I’m not doin’ all that. That’s a full time job.

Sheila : Exactly!

Angela : The bottom line, is that I *have* to check him. All that time I spent, trainin’ that man on how to be right for me, you think that I’m really gonna let some other woman take *all* that on the job training?

Dianne : What is he, a man or a puppy? cause…

Angela : He ain’t either one. That’s why, I got his cell phone right here and I’m waitin’ for it to ring.

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