Why Do Guys Breathe Heavily When Cuddling

Whether we are prepared for it or not, the holiday season is in full swing. Soon enough the bipolar weather of fall will turn into the endless cold, dark nights of winter. Hot chocolate (with a dash of Baileys) becomes the preferred drink of choice, “25 Days of Christmas” on ABC beckons all to stay inside and be lazy, and our favorite pastime transitions from going to the gym to cuddling. Especially when performed with that special someone, cuddling is the most intimate and cozy act you will ever experience…or at least that is what the female population is lead to believe.

The other night whilst cuddling with my significant other, I couldn’t help but notice how fidgety and annoyed he seemed. When I could no longer stand it I turned to him and exclaimed, “What is your deal??” Only to be confronted by his response of, “I am so uncomfortable right now!” In my mind our bodies were fitting perfectly, his arm creating the perfect pillow, and five minutes longer I would have been sound asleep and drooling uncontrollably. After a fervent discussion about his displeasure, he expressed to me the 10 struggles every guy goes through while cuddling.

I am here now presenting them to you. Ladies, please take note.

1. Girls constantly want to cuddle

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2. The intention of “cuddling” is almost always misinterpreted by the guy

3. 95% of the time girls want to cuddle…and ONLY cuddle

4. Spooning turns him on way too quickly

5. Even though the girl clearly realizes a phenomenon occurring, she proceeds to ignore the newly found extension of her tail bone

6. (In accordance with the beginning of this article) A girl gets upset every time the guy gets uncomfortable and tries to change positions

7. Throughout the course of the night, every part of his body will find some way to fall asleep

8. A guy will typically find his way to the other side of bed only to wake up finding his girlfriend Googling if it means they have a weak relationship

9. Google is not to be trusted, guys just like to have their space when they dream about other…things…

10. Refer back to issue #1 and repeat

With my mind enlightened, I have a new found understanding of the cuddling concept. In retrospect it seems blissful, but to the ears of a male, cuddling is a dreaded term. Does this mean women will stop suggesting a cuddle sesh? Absolutely not. We’ll just do it with a more conscious mindset.

Happy cuddling!

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