One potential reason for feeling like a failure is that you’re not meeting the expectations that you set for yourself.
“This then leads to a shame, anger, guilt, self-blame cycle that is hard to snap out of,” says Urmi Chakrabarti, a licensed master social worker. Even traditionally successful people can get into this cycle, sometimes due to imposter syndrome.
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Feeling like a failure or like you’re not good enough also stems from comparing yourself to others.
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Neuropsychologist Alexander Burgemeester says, “It is easy for us to compare ourselves to those around us and immediately feel as though we have failed in one way or another.”
When you see someone on social media who has a great family and job, a nicer house than you, or takes enviable trips around the world, it’s easy to look at yourself as falling short after comparing yourself to them.
You may also feel like a failure when you are rejected by someone or when something didn’t work out the way that you wanted it to or thought it would.
Whether your failures are real or only your perception, your feelings are still very real.
Root causes
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Some people can fail time and time again and yet bounce back better than before. Others constantly fend off harmful self-talk and develop a fear of failure. Maybe you’ve even stopped trying or have lowered your goals to lessen the chance of failure.
This pattern of thinking about yourself negatively can be caused by:
- expectations from parents and caregivers as a child
- highly critical or extremely successful parents or close family members
- depression or other unresolved mental health conditions
- perfectionism
- internalized societal or cultural norms
- low self-esteem
Many of the above causes can lead to basing self-worth on what you do rather than who you are. This core belief is often formed in childhood. While its roots are often deep, this core belief and feelings of never measuring up can be overcome.
The solution is to take steps to try and learn how to deal with feelings of failure in healthy ways. Knowing how to deal with it can help you cope and bounce back better and quicker than before.
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY
