Do you ever feel like you never do anything right? I do. My baseline is feeling that everything I do is wrong to the point that feeling like I’m doing something right is a rarity. Anxiety keeps running questions in the back of my mind, whether I’m making the right decision, saying the right words, or doing the right thing.
You are viewing: Why Do I Feel Like Everything I Do Is Wrong
Feeling Like Everything I Do Is Wrong Is Debilitating
I’m fairly certain my anxiety came first, but the specific anxiety of doing or saying the wrong thing came after being repeatedly made to feel like I was doing the wrong thing. Growing up, there were so many times when I’d make a decision or say something, and it would elicit negative reactions from the adults around me. What I mean by negative reactions is scolding me, exasperated sighs, mocking my decisions, and so on. It got to the point that it felt like I could do nothing right at all. I felt like a bad person, and the anxiety around doing things, and decision-making, in particular, started to fester.
All of that still lives rent-free in my head and dictates my day-to-day as an adult. Making decisions is a harrowing, often debilitating, experience. As a people pleaser (something I need to work on), I try to make decisions that won’t impact or upset anyone else.
Read more : Why Do Jewish Have Curls
That ends up looking like simple things like picking what to eat or deciding what to do for the day becoming impossible tasks.
I always try to make someone else decide. The result of doing that? People get frustrated and angry with me, furthering the feelings that I’m doing everything wrong. I can’t even get things right by leaving the decision to them. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Somehow, my brain sees the backlash of forcing the decision on someone else as more favorable, so I usually go with that.
That doesn’t mean I leave absolutely every decision up to someone else; although decisions I do make on my own, I tend to hide or wait until the last minute to reveal. And making those decisions takes a long time of mulling over and really assessing if I can deal with any consequences.
The Mental Health Impact of Feeling Like Everything I Do Is Wrong
I don’t think people understand the mental health impact of feeling like there’s not a single thing I can do that’s right. There are times when I could cry because I feel like such a failure, or I’m so upset that my thoughts drift to thinking things would be better if I weren’t here.
Read more : Why Do Football Players Tape Their Arms
I get the sense that folks just see me as being difficult or maybe immature. I’m sure some people think I’m being dramatic or stupid for not being able to make a simple decision. (I see this all as stigmatizing, by the way.)
Let me tell you; I wish it were really that simple. I wish I could do it and not feel like I’m making a terrible mistake. I wish I could quiet the ingrained anxiety in my head that says everything I do is wrong. Sadly, it’s not that easy, but I’m working on it. Please be patient with me (and others like me).
If you feel that you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 9-1-1 immediately.
For more information on suicide, see our suicide information, resources and support section. For additional mental health help, please see our mental health hotline numbers and referral information section.
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY