All sorts of men can be attracted to trans women. Some men may be specifically attracted to trans women, whilst others may be attracted to a diversity of women or attracted to femininity. Others might have never thought about it before but meet a woman they like who discloses that she is transgender. No two men who date trans women are the same.
It is important to know that many transgender women do not like men being specifically attracted to them solely because they are transgender.
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“I want to be seen as a woman, but if you’re only attracted to trans people you’re not really seeing me for who I am. I’ve always wanted to be seen as a woman first who has a trans experience, as a part of my history, as a part of who I am. I’ve often found that when people are solely trans attracted those relationships haven’t worked out for me, and the relationships that have worked for me are with people that are attracted to me as a person first.” Hannah
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Trans women may find this objectifying. They may feel men are treating them only as an object of desire, rather seeing them as a whole person.
“I personally don’t care so much if men are specifically attracted to trans women. I’m more looking at their behaviors. Are they seeing me as an object and as a fetish or are they actually wanting to get to know me? Because if you do want to get to know me and hang out with me for more than just sex, then I may be interested. But if you’re demanding me to act and dress in a particular way and you’re not treating me like a human being, then I’ll walk away.” Electra
Trans women often feel they are fetishised by men and treated in a one-dimensional way.
“I’ve slept with guys who fetishised me. It’s so boring, it’s just so unsatisfying. No one wants to be objectified for any part of their body, to experience having a part of your body kind of obsessed over by someone who’s ignoring that you’re a person.” Stella
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Desiring trans women solely because of their trans identity, their race or particular aspects of their bodies can be very hurtful. It can cause trans women to be wary of men who behave like this, and they may choose not to interact further.
“My experience of dating men who objectify trans women is that my pleasure is never centred. I couldn’t date them because when you’re objectified, when you’re fetishised, you’re the object so you don’t have desires yourself. It’s like you’re not even there, you’re an object of a fantasy in their mind. It’s also linked to their feelings of shame, where they almost didn’t want to get to know me because it made me more real and that made their shame bigger.” Crystal
“Look I had my lower surgery (vaginoplasty) almost six years ago and I still often get men asking me for dick pics. That always made me feel really gross-and then once I’d had surgery the interest from some men just disappeared. It was like I’m no longer desirable to trans feminine attracted men because I now had a vagina.” Crystal
Just as no two men who date trans women are the same, neither are any two trans women. Remember to treat each trans woman you meet as a complex individual with her own unique personality, history and desires.
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY
