Do a quick search on Pinterest and you’ll find a never ending stream of quotes about women supporting women.

From the looks of it, it seems we’ve got it all figured out but I’m not so sure we do. Ever since we’re little girls, we feel the need to bully or be bullied. I’m by no means saying that everyone is like this and to be a girl is to be cursed to life of constant cat fights. But think about it, there has always been “that girl.” The one who reigns and is in constant fear of someone taking that power away from her. Or maybe I’m confusing real life with Gossip Girl or Mean Girls.

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We’ve been taught this from a young age thanks to stereotypes, movies, TV shows and the corporate world. We have to fight and tear each other down because only one or a small few of us are able to have success. F that.

Where’d that come from? Why, in this day and age, do we feel the need to be the sole female who succeeds? Shouldn’t we be proud of each other, support each other, lift each other up? Or, damn, at the least just sincerely say “good job ” and move on when a female has some success. But honestly, I think most of us feel a tinge of jealousy first and then support second. Why the hell is that?

This is not the unanimous case though. There are so many wonderful, supportive women in my life and I’m truly thankful for each of them. Just look at all these amazing women who have helped turned A Way Abroad into what it is today! I hope everyone has a girl gang that supports each other continuously, no matter what. This week is International Women’s Day.

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I saw a quote the other day (and no I didn’t save it, and no I can’t find it again) but it’s something along the lines of, “One woman’s success does not take away from your own.” And that’s so beautiful and so true. How can something so simple and seemingly obvious be so powerful?

So here we are. Thanks for sticking with me in my long, passionate introduction. Let’s get to the root of this and figure out how we, as a community, can make some changes and be the badass women I know we all really are.

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1. We see each other as direct competition

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Anytime you meet a new woman you internally size her up. Physically, mentally and socially. That probably won’t stop.

You’ll think things like, “How is her hair so shiny?” “How is she so successful at such a young age?” “How has she travelled so much?” “Why is she so funny?” Go ahead and think those things, that’s ok. You shouldn’t be searching for signs a woman hates you or immediately assume that’s the base of it all.

Like her hair? Ask her what products she uses. Want a job like hers? Ask her for tips. Curious about her travels? Get her to share how she’s afforded it or where she would recommend that you go. Think she’s funny? Befriend her. Everyone needs a friend that can make them laugh.

These positive qualities shouldn’t turn to negative ones in your head. They should make you like her, not compete with her.

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Category: WHY