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Why Does Life Hate Me

Well, let me just say this. Usually I’m not the type of person who goes out there begging for attention, begging to be noticed. But today, as I was walking home from a night out, I seriously considered jumping off the bridge that I walked past. Who would even care if I did that? You don’t have to give me the cliché answer ‘oh no but you can’t do that to your family, that is so selfish!’

Today I realised, karma does NOT exist. God does NOT exist. It’s all a load of bullshit to keep people happy. If God keeps you happy then go ahead believe in God but I lost all hope after today. After all I have done, this is what I get…

After taking care of my sick brother while my parents were working, giving homeless people change and buying them food just because I feel sorry for them and I could list all the nice things that I do to people but we would be here for a bit. I am always nice to girls and I’m just looking for someone to be in a serious relationship with. I just want to get to know a person and like her for personality not because she wears expensive clothes or because she has big breasts. But today I also learned that nice guys, do finish last. Only if you are a pushy, aggressive douchebag fuckboy will you get a ‘girlfriend’ which he will dispose of as soon as he gets to have sex with her but it looks like that’s what girls want. I’m not blaming the girls for this even though I have seriously had enough of life. I must be really fucking ugly or something. My friend gets all the girls and he doesn’t do anything about it! I have to admit, it makes me mad. What is wrong with me??? Noone ever seems to have anything to do with me… but why??? People that I know just walk past me like I’m invisible… I men yeah I’m usually a quiet guy but noone likes to be ignored like a ghost… I have also been having acne for the past three years, I tried EVERYTHING to make it go away. Used numerous facial creams, changed my diet, worked out etc. and it has gotten better and it probably isn’t as serious as I make it out to be but it is really hampering my self esteem. Sorry if my sentences sound incoherent, it is probably because I’m still drunk when I am writing this.

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So why does life hate me so much??? What have I done that I deserve this??? I know I will never get a girlfriend who I can love and who loves me for who I am so I might as well kill myself tonight because apart from my family and my best friend noone is going to give a flying fuck.

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