Why Does My Cat Knead Me But Not My Husband

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Why does my cat knead me but not my husband? Similar question I am asking all the time: Why does my cat knead my mother but not me? I think that I’ll never be my cat’s first choice, but that is just a story for another time.

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When we talk about pets, we are aware that cats are the most popular choice among owners. They’re fluffy, cute, funny and interesting. No matter the breed, the cat will communicate with its owner.

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When it comes to interaction, they will have some sort of routine in order to communicate with the owner. But it seems that they always have one favorite person. Let’s see some reasons why your cats always knead you.

8 Reasons Your Cat Kneads You And Not Your Husband

We don’t know for a fact why cats knead us, let alone why they prefer one person over another. But we may guess that it has to do with their affection for that specific person.

So let’s get into some possible reasons your cat may be choosing you over your husband.

1. Your Clothes

young woman holding cute Siberian cat with green eyes in her arms

Cats are known to love soft and cuddly objects and your cat probably chooses you to knead since you’re constantly in comfy and soft clothes like loose shirts and sweaters.

If you want to find out if this is the reason your cat kneads you, watch if your cat comes to you when you wear something different. That’s how you’ll know what is actually the truth.

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2. Your Cats Likes You

It is logical to think that a cat’s kneading may have to do with the cat’s fondness for that specific person. Why? Because kneading is a type of behavior where a cat expresses emotions of safety and contentment.

So if your cat kneads you and not your husband, it might mean that your cat likes you more than your hubby.

If he desires that the cat kneads him, maybe he should spend more time with her to develop a relationship and see if the cat after some time would come to him.

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3. You’re Often Sitting Still

A small ginger and tabby cat on a young woman

Many cats will prefer to jump on those who are sitting still most of the time. I get it now, I’m constantly moving and my cat doesn’t like that.

But my cat thinks that my mother is a piece of dough, just like you are to your cat. Your cat may think that your husband won’t sit still while she kneads him and enjoys it, and she rather picks you just to be sure because she knows you’ll be calm.

4. Your Cat And You Are Bonded

Cats will often form a strong bond with those that usually play with her. And on top of that, if you’re the person who cleans her litter box, feeds her and groom her, there is no going back, you’ll be the cat’s first person to knead.

So, if your husband wants a cat to knead him, maybe he can try to do all of those things for a while to see if the cat will understand that the other person is taking care of her. Show him how you do it and let the magic begin!

5. Your Cat Sees You As A Mother

While this can be strange to think, there is a possibility that your cat thinks that you’re their mother. Kittens have learned to knead momma cats to get milk. If you have your feline friend from their young age, it is likely possible that you are its parental figure.

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So if your cat thinks that you’re their mother, it is logical that they don’t knead your husband.

6. Your Cat Kneads Before A Nap

My cat Luna will always do her kneading session before her napping one. So do many cats. And if she has no feline friends, the cat must find someone or something like a blanket or garment to knead.

However if those things aren’t available, and your cat sees you laying there all alone, guess what, she just found the perfect spot.

Next time your cat is about to take a nap, let your husband near her to see if she’ll come to him also.

7. Gender Bias

There is a possibility that cats choose to knead women because they are the ones who take care of them the most.

Women, whatever the situation is, tend to be compassionate, patient and gentle. They just have the need to care for others, like a mothers instinct inside them. This is applicable not also with humans but with animals too.

Similar to that, female cats are the ones who take care of their kittens, feed them with their milk and groom them regularly so they’re clean at all times. However, male cats cannot even recognize their kittens let alone show them affection and take care of them.

So when we think about it, it is not actually the gender that cats are drawn to but rather that care the women have. It is possible that you take care of your cat due to maternal instinct while your husband pays more attention to other things.

8. Scent

We all know scents are important in feline’s world. There is a high chance that your cat adores your scent or it makes her at ease and relaxed. You can try to spray it on your husband to see if your cat will come to him.

If your cat has been long with you, you’ve probably noticed that her behavior can be irregular sometimes. It is known that felines tend to direct certain behaviors to certain persons or scents they know.

Along with kneading, cats tend to bring animals to one person only, as they direct their behaviors to only one in the household.

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So, if your husband is worried about your cat only kneading you, don’t let him worry.

Why Do Cats Knead People At All?

a smiling young girl is playing with a cat

You’ve probably noticed when your kitten is eating, she’s making bread-kneading motions or so called biscuits. That forms a bond between a kitten and a momma cat.

So cat kneading is a behavior learnt from a young age that serves as comfort and good sentiment in cats.

Because that behavior is carried into adulthood, it doesn’t matter if your cat isn’t a kitten anymore, she’ll still want to knead, especially when they notice something soft and cozy to knead on, or to spot their favorite person laying down.

If you’re the chosen one, be honored as that indicates that the cat loves you and trusts you.

How To Describe Kneading?

Cat kneading is described as continually sticking their paws out and back, usually with their front left and right paws. Many people say that kneading looks like cats making biscuits.

Cats will knead on blankets, pillows, walls, carpets and of course humans. The kneading sometimes may be accompanied by other behavior such as purring.

What Does It Mean When A Cat Decides To Knead You?

Cat behaviorists and veterinarians are still not sure why cats knead. However, there are some theories to explain this behavior, like:

• Cats kneading is actually an ancient cat behavior that they were doing before they were domesticated when they needed to dig or push down bushes to make a bed and sleep comfortably.

• The behavior is their kitten behavior that was used to stimulate the fresh milk of momma cat

• Cats use kneading to spread scent onto people and other objects, like marking a territory

When it comes to choosing who to knead, we already discussed the above.

Closing Words

So, why does my cat knead me but not my husband? It has to do with a lot of things but mostly due to your maternal instinct, bond, scent and so on.

We can all agree that cat kneading is actually a good thing and it comes from the heart. They just want to show you how much they love you.

Husbands, don’t be mad! Instead, spend more time with your cat and take care of her just like your wife and maybe you get the chance to be the chosen one, for once.

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