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Why Does My Cat Purr And Bite Me

Why do cats purr and then bite you? It’s a question that has puzzled cat owners for years. Some people say that it’s a sign of affection, while others believe it’s a sign of anger or aggression.

The reality is, it’s somewhere in the middle. Or both at the same time. Confusing? Stick with me, and all will be revealed.

Mixed signals: from cuddling to biting

We’ve all been there. It’s cuddle time and your happy cat is stretched out on your lap purring her head off, ecstatic as you stroke her soft fur. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, she sinks her teeth into your hand. Ouch!

If your furry friend is anything like our tabby boy Kasper, she’ll grab your hand with her front paws and dig her claws in, maybe pummeling at your arm with her powerful back legs for good measure. Double ouch!

So why do they do it? Do I have an aggressive cat? Does my cat have a behavioral problem?

In a word, no.

What is petting-biting syndrome or petting-induced aggression?

While many cats take some pleasure in being petted because it models the way the mother cat groomed them when they were little kittens, adult cats have a strong natural instinct for survival.

If they let themselves get too relaxed when you’re petting them, they can suddenly feel vulnerable and “develop a sense of conflict between pleasure and potential danger [which] can result in a sudden aggressive gesture to escape from the situation” explains International Cat Care (2018).

In other words, on the one hand, your purring cat is enjoying the attention and physical affection. But on the other hand, she’s feeling vulnerable and exposed. So she reacts accordingly. In her eyes, it’s an act of self-preservation as well as an attempt to change the situation.

And it’s very effective. No wonder it’s often called a ‘go away’ bite.

We’re not necessarily talking gentle nibbles either. While such bites are usually inhibited, sometimes they can be quite severe, causing injury and, possibly, infection.

This seemingly contradictory behavior is known as petting-biting syndrome, petting-induced aggression, or, less commonly, petting intolerance. Unofficially, it’s known as kitty love bites.

According to veterinarian Terry Marie Curtis (2008), feline aggression, either between cats or toward humans (including petting intolerance), is the second most commonly reported behavior problem among pet cat owners.

(The first is inappropriate elimination and urine-marking behaviors if you’re wondering.)

So if your cat is suddenly nipping at you midway through what you thought was a lovely petting session, you’re far from alone!

Tabby and white cat reasting on human
Millie is dozing across my hand as I work. As long as I don’t suddenly move she’ll be content to relax there and not feel the need to react aggressively © The Cat and Dog House

How can I stop my cat from suddenly biting me when I’m petting her?

There are a few things we need to take into consideration here.

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#1. Where does my cat like to be petted?

First of all, it’s a good idea to learn where your cat’s soft spots are. Cats have certain areas of their bodies or body parts that are more sensitive than others, and they don’t always appreciate being touched there.

Areas such as the base of the cat’s tail, paws, sides, and inner thighs are often ‘off limits.’ The chest and belly are ‘maybes,’ or ‘maybe sometimes onlies,’ depending on who’s doing the petting and how the cat feels.

Along the back towards the tail is often a preferred spot, with the head coming close behind (Ellis et al., 2015).

Some of these areas have scent glands that cats use as a form of communication with each other. These are:

  • The peri-oral gland site (the area around the lips, chin, and cheeks)
  • The temporal gland site (the areas between the eyes and ears)
  • The caudal gland site (the area around the base of the tail) (Ellis et al., 2015, as reported by Sarah/International Cat Care, 2021).

Speaking from personal experience, I’ve found most of our cats prefer being petted along their backs (towards the tail end), along the lips, under the chin, or on the temples, which mostly reflects what Eliis and her team found in their research (excluding the tail).

Cats groom each other “primarily on the head and neck, although some body rubbing occurs during allorubbing.” (Amat, et al., 2009).

So sticking to the cat’s head and neck may be more familiar, and therefore enjoyable for your cat. But all cats are individuals and your cat will provide you with her own personal verdict on where is best.

(Allorubbing refers to when cats rub against each other, or against their people.)

#2. How long does my cat like to be petted for?

Some cats will quite happily lie there for ages while you give them a good old stroke. Others will only tolerate it for a few seconds before they start to get twitchy with the repetitive petting.

You’ll need to experiment to find out which category your cat falls into, and how long she’s happy to be petted for. Once you’ve figured that out, try not to exceed her limit.

If you’re not sure how long your cat will tolerate being petted, start with just a few strokes and see how she responds. If she seems relaxed and happy, you can keep going. But if she starts to get agitated and you see signs of overstimulation, stop immediately.

You always want to keep her under threshold. This means stopping before she starts to get agitated so you always end on a calm, positive note.

It’s also worth noting that some cats prefer shorter strokes while others prefer longer ones. Again, you’ll need to experiment to see what your cat prefers.

As a general rule of thumb, it’s best to avoid sudden movements and keep your strokes smooth and gentle.

#3. What type of petting does my cat like?

Some cats prefer light, feathery strokes while others prefer firmer, more vigorous petting. Once again, you’ll need to experiment to see what your cat prefers.

A good way to find out is to offer your cat a choice. Pet her in one way and then in another, and see which she seems to enjoy more.

You could also try using different parts of your hand, such as your fingers, palm, or back of your hand.

Once you’ve figured out what type of petting your cat enjoys, stick to that.

How do I know when my cat has had enough petting?

Cats communicate with us in many ways, including through their body language and vocalizations. The best way to build up a strong bond of trust is to learn to read your cat’s signs so you can understand what she’s trying to tell you.

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If you see or hear any of the following, slowly withdraw your hand and stop the petting. Some of the signs might be very subtle and not immediately obvious unless you pay careful attention.

Vocalizations

  • Meowing
  • Growling
  • Cessation of purring

Eyes

  • Looking at your hand or turning the head to look back
  • Dilated pupils

Ears

  • Flattened back against the head
  • Airplane mode (flat out to the side, like wings)

Tail

  • Lashing
  • Thumping
  • Swishing
  • Flicking

(May be slow or fast)

Body

  • Skin twitching along the back
  • Changing position
  • Stiffened muscles
  • Freezing in place

Why do cats switch from purring to biting without warning?

Now that we’ve had a look at feline body language and are more aware of the possible signals that a cat’s starting to feel agitated, it becomes clear that cats actually give multiple warning signals that they want us to stop. All we have to do is understand them and respond accordingly.

Animal behavior expert Dr. Karolina Westlund also makes the following fascinating observation: “Apparently, cats have smaller frontal lobes than dogs, which may explain both why they more easily switch from FEAR to RAGE, and why they take such time recovering from these highly aroused negative emotions. The frontal lobes typically inhibit emotions – and that mechanism might thus be less efficient in cats.”

Other possible reasons your cat goes from purring to biting

#1. The cat’s background

Not all cats have had the best start in life. They may have had no experience of being handled when during their socialization period (3-7 weeks of age) as kittens, or may only have been handled by one person.

Kittens that are handled by four or five different handlers (a mix of male, female, adults, and children) before they are seven weeks old “will be more sociable to people as adult cats and more inclined to initiate social interaction with them.

“In comparison, cats that are only handled by one individual will be particularly affectionate toward them but will view other humans with suspicion and show a tendency to avoid them,” says International Cat Care (2018).

It’s also possible that the cat has had previous negative experiences with humans. Our rescue cat Kasper was attacked by a fox as a kitten and spent a lot of time at the vet.

His early experiences with human interaction were, unfortunately, largely associated with being in pain and discomfort. He’s an incredibly affectionate boy and demands plenty of attention, but is also a master of the petting-biting syndrome!

Tabby cat leaning against human hand and purring
Kasper is happily purring here but I need to make sure he stays under threshold and doesn’t switch to biting © The Cat and Dog House

#2. The cat is in pain

“Anxiety, pain, or skin conditions may all be contributory in a cat that resists physical contact,” according to Horwitz and Landsberg (2022).

I’ve mentioned this before in my article about cats growling: our rescue cat Oakley has something of a dent in his back from a presumed traffic accident. It’s an old sore spot and a very sensitive area for him. If you accidentally touch him there, he’ll sink his teeth into you very quickly with very little bite inhibition and leave puncture wounds.

Aside from old injuries, a cat may also be in pain due to arthritis or many other different reasons. If in doubt, do get her checked out by your veterinarian.

Due to an old back injury Oakley may lash out and bite if you inadvertently pet him in the wrong place – or even if he thinks you might © The Cat and Dog House

How can I stop my cat from biting when petting?

Ideally, of course, you will have been watching her body language closely and making sure you don’t get to this point.

But we all make mistakes! Here’s what I do if I haven’t really been paying close attention and have missed the signs of impending aggression.

I cut off eye contact and pretend I’m not paying the cat any attention. I keep my hand/arm stock still. Playing dead, if you will. If you start to cry out and pull your hand/arm away, the cat will most likely instinctively latch on and try to stop you, or chase you. Which hurts even more.

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Once you’ve stayed still for a moment and the cat seems marginally less agitated or you’re at a stalemate, you can calmly and slowly remove your hand or arm. Having a cat toy on hand to replace it with can be handy, so the cat has something else to focus her irritation on.

What if I want to pet my cat more than she wants to be petted?

Veterinary behavior professor Sharon Crowell-Davis (2007) advises waiting for your cat “to solicit affection [and] only pet it in areas it enjoys.”

She also recommends only petting the cat when she can move away if she wants to (“i.e. – with no enclosed arms and probably not on a lap”) and not picking the cat up. Cats often do not enjoy being picked up and feel vulnerable and out of control, causing them to respond with aggression.

Amat et al. advise pet parents to “learn to wait for the cat to initiate interactions and to interact with it only briefly.”

What if my cat wants more attention than I want to give her?

Sometimes you may not feel like giving your cat any attention. You may be trying to get some work done or just chill out on the sofa.

Setting up her home environment to make sure she has plenty of enrichment opportunities is one way of managing situations like these. You can do this by making sure you provide plenty of places to hide away (e.g. cardboard boxes) and also vertical space (e.g. cat trees or high shelves) so your cat can engage in her instinctual behavior to retreat or hide away sometimes.

A variety of scratching posts (cardboard vs. sisal, vertical vs. horizontal) is essential. You can also keep your kitty busy by providing mental stimulation through food puzzle toys, catnip toys, or play and chasing games that tap into her predatory instincts.

How can I train my cat to enjoy petting?

It can be helpful to count how many times you stroke your cat to get an idea of how much she enjoys it before she gets fed up and wants you to stop.

You can gradually build it up using positive reinforcement, say a couple of strokes and then a yummy treat. Our cats are particularly impartial to Temptations and will do just about anything to get one.

In this video animal behavior expert Chirag Patel demonstrates how you can train a cat to enjoy being petted.

How do you discipline a cat for biting?

You should never chastise or physically punish your cat. Verbal or physical punishment only results in making your more cat frightened and, as a consequence, react with aggressive behavior. It also risks breaking your trust and bond with her.

Cats don’t bite us because they’re mean or spiteful and want to get revenge. They bite because they feel vulnerable and even though they’ve given plenty of warning signals, their well-intentioned human doesn’t understand them or hasn’t been paying attention.

So from her point of view, all other forms of communication have failed and she’s left with no other choice.

And we never want to put our cats in that position.

Final thoughts

It’s always important to remember that when our cats give us those warning signs before they bite, it’s because they’re trying to tell us they feel vulnerable and want us to stop.

If we can learn to understand our cat’s body language and what she’s trying to say, we can avoid bites from happening in the first place – and have a much better relationship with our feline friend!

If you still miss the signs and your cat starts biting you while you’re petting her, all you have to do is stop and give her some space. Try not to get discouraged- with a little patience and understanding, you’ll be winning back your kitty’s trust in no time.

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Recommended Products

  • Temptations Cat Treats

Resources

  • Aggression to humans – International Cat Care
  • Bringing up a litter of kittens: behavioural considerations – International Cat Care
  • Cat Behavior Problems – Aggression – Petting Aggression – Ellen Lindell, Debra Horwitz, & Gary Landsberg
  • Five Steps to Correct Petting-Induced Aggression in Cats – Pam Johnson-Bennett
  • Human-directed aggression in the cat – Terry Marie Curtis
  • Human feet are not mice: How to treat human-directed feline aggression – Sharon Crowell-Davis
  • Potential risk factors associated with feline behaviour problems – Marta Amat, José Torre, Jaume Fatjó, Valentina Mariotti, Sophie Wijk, & Xavier Manteca
  • RAGE – Animal Emotions/Module 8 [Educational Course] – Dr. Karolina Westlund/Illis Animal Behaviour Courses
  • The influence of body region, handler familiarity and order of region handled on the domestic cat’s response to being stroked – Sarah Ellis, Hannah Thompson, Cristina Guijarro, & Helen Zulch
  • Tip Tuesday: Petting a cat – BC SPCA
  • “You can stroke me here, but not there” – Sarah/International Cat Care

NEED HELP FROM A CAT BEHAVIOR SPECIALIST? If you need more help dealing with a training or behavior issue, please find professional help from a certified feline behavior consultant. They will be able to offer you tailored advice for your cat(s) and situation. Good places to start are:International Association of Animal Behavior ConsultantsCOAPE Association of Pet Behaviourists and TrainersAmerican Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior

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