It’s common for an ex-romantic partner to feel like they hate the person who broke up with them—or that they hate the person they broke up with.
Below, we’ll explore the feelings some people experience after a breakup and how to manage these feelings successfully. First, we’ll start by looking at some reasons you might care that your ex may hate you.
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You Wronged Them And Feel Guilty
Regardless of who initiated the breakup, if you did something that led to anger from your ex, then you may not be surprised by their reaction. Everyone reacts differently to being hurt by a loved one, but if you broke your partner’s trust, it may take time for them to heal enough to forgive you. For now, you might try to accept that they are angry. You may feel the urge to try to be friends with them to make yourself feel better. However, this may not be a helpful option, and it may increase their feelings of anger toward you.
In terms of any guilt you might be feeling, it may help to remember that we all make mistakes. It’s possible to learn, grow, and evolve throughout life. If you use what happened with your ex as a teachable moment, in time, you may be able to forgive yourself, which researchers believe involves self-acceptance.
You Still Have Feelings For Your Ex
Whatever the reason for your breakup, it’s possible that you still have feelings for your ex. You may accept that you don’t work well as a couple, but at the same time you may still care about or even love them. Even if you were the one who initiated the breakup, it can be difficult to accept that your ex now hates you, especially when you don’t wish them any harm.
If you still care about your ex, you might consider giving them space to work through their feelings. The reason they are feeling an emotion as strong as hatred may be that they have not entirely stopped loving you.
Ways To Help Yourself Heal
If you’re worried that your ex hates you, there are tools you might use to try to reach a place of acceptance. A breakup, particularly a difficult one, may bring up a variety of emotions. Below are some tips to help you during this time:
Try Not To Hate Your Ex Back
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It may feel tempting to hate your ex if you sense hatred coming from them. However, hating your ex may not make them hate you any less, and it may not make you feel better. Although you cannot control how your ex feels about you, you can work on your own feelings and actions.
Be Cautious About Contact
Even if you have feelings for your ex, contacting them may not be a good idea, especially if you know they hate you. You may have the best of intentions, but people can act brashly when they’re in a negative state of mind. Moreover, contacting them may feel like rubbing salt in their wounds, and it can increase their negative feelings toward you.
There may be occasions when contacting your ex is necessary, but it may not be a good idea outside of these circumstances. No matter how much you want your ex to stop hating you, you may be better off prioritizing your own health and well-being.
Redirect Your Focus
It can be easy to ruminate about your ex hating you. If you wronged your ex, you may even believe they’re justified in their feelings. However, no matter how much you may want to punish yourself, you cannot change the past.
At this point, it may be more helpful to focus your attention on your own life. You might pay attention to opportunities, other relationships, and other aspects of life that can benefit your growth and success. If you learn to redirect your thoughts, it may be easier to move forward and live your best life.
Take Meaningful Action
To successfully redirect your focus, you may need to take action. You might try dedicating more time to work, fitness, or a new hobby and putting yourself in productive situations with positive people. When you’re busy with meaningful or fun activities, you may find that you eventually stop worrying about your ex hating you.
No matter how difficult it may be to redirect your focus, it may be more useful than worrying about how your ex feels about you.
The Brain, Emotional Pain, And Therapy After A Breakup
Research shows that when people see photos of their ex, the same parts of their brains are often activated as when they experience physical pain. This may be because our brains seem to process deep emotional pain in the same way that they process physical pain. In addition, those who have experienced rejection in romantic relationships may develop “cravings” for their partners, similarly to how one might crave a substance they are addicted to.
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This suggests that the brain may be powerfully wired when it comes to romantic love. Those who have recently experienced a difficult breakup may benefit from the support of a licensed mental health professional to work through any pain they’re experiencing.
Even if you’re the one who ended the relationship, you may also be hurting, especially if your ex has negative feelings toward you. Your feelings are valid, too, and therapy may help you come to terms with your breakup and let go of what is no longer in your control.
The Benefits Of Online Therapy
Therapy may be beneficial for navigating the end of an important relationship. However, when you are grieving the loss of an ex, it may be difficult to attend in-person therapy sessions.
With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can connect with a therapist from the comfort of your own home via audio or video chat. In addition, you can contact your therapist 24/7 with any questions or concerns via in-app messaging, and they’ll respond as soon as they can. This may be helpful if you are experiencing challenging emotions or memories in between sessions.
Online therapy has been thoroughly researched and found to be an effective alternative to in-office therapy. A recent study involving participants who had just gone through a breakup found that an online group therapy intervention group helped reduce feelings of low self-esteem while increasing participants’ willingness to forgive their ex. Other studies have shown individual online therapy to be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy.
BetterHelp’s licensed therapists have helped numerous people following challenging breakups. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp therapists from people experiencing similar concerns.
Therapist Reviews
“Julia is a very open-minded, understanding, and warm-hearted person. She listened with kindness and without judgment. Her advice helped me tremendously through a bad breakup and ensuing personal problems. Her advice and understanding have been very helpful in guiding me to a healthier mind frame.”
“Pamela has helped me become the person who I wanted to be after my breakup. She helped me see the light in the dark, and showed me that who I am is enough.”
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY
