HomeWHYWhy Doesnt It Feel Good When I Finger Myself

Why Doesnt It Feel Good When I Finger Myself

Pleasure doesn’t have to be about sex entirely. You can do a lot within masturbation and foreplay to experience the peak of pleasure, and fingering is one such act. Read on to know about the benefits of fingering and how you can finger yourself.

What Is Fingering?

Fingering refers to the use of fingers to stimulate the genitals. The clitoris has two to three times more nerve endings than the penis, making it a sensitive area for stimulation. The vagina may not have as many nerve endings as the clitoris, but certain areas of the vagina do respond to touch. Therefore, we could say the act of fingering is to use the fingers to stimulate the clitoris to reach an orgasm. The different types of fingering may include clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, and anal stimulation.

Is Fingering Good?

  • Yes. If performed correctly, you can enjoy fingering thoroughly. Did you know? About 75% of women can achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation alone. That’s quite a large number.
  • If you are having sex, make sure your partner knows your sexual tastes and preferences beforehand.
  • If they do not, make sure to sit down and communicate- have a conversation about it. In addition, always make sure your partner asks for your consent before fingering you.
  • In numerous situations, one uses fingering as a foreplay method before sexual intercourse. Still, even, many women struggle to achieve orgasm.

Also read: Best sex positions for a female orgasm

What is Fingering Sex?

As discussed earlier, fingering is the acting of stimulating the vagina with the fingers. One often considers fingering sex safer than penile sex as it is comparatively safer with fewer chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. While performing self-sex, make sure your fingers are squeaky clean. If your partner is fingering you, make sure they have washed their hands well too.

Is Fingering Sex The Same as Fingering?

Yes, it’s the same. One can perform fingering as a combination of inserting fingers into the vagina and rubbing the clitoris.

How to Do Fingering?

Every person is different, so you will have to explore and see your body’s response. If you are new to fingering, this is what you can do:

  • Start slowly and gently from the outer parts of the vulva and then move inward to the clitoris. You can use your fingers to try different speeds, motions, and pressures to teasing yourself. Going slow helps more blood flow to the genitals and increase arousal. This will make you more receptive to stimulation.
  • You can begin with gently caressing the outside and moving toward the pubic mound, labia, perineum, and finally, the clitoris. The closer you get to the inside, the more you can make your touch rhythmic and consistent.
  • Once you find a good pace, keep at it. Listen to your body and adapt to what is needed now.
  • Start by slipping one finger into your vagina until your first knuckle when you are ready. If you feel comfortable, you can insert more fingers. The G-spot is a few inches into your vagina on the upper wall. Hence, you can use a ‘come hither’ motion to stimulate your G-spot.
  • As you grow closer to an orgasm, your body will tense up. This is a crucial point to maintain focus and your pace. However, you do not need to orgasm to enjoy yourself.
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How to Finger Yourself

Let’s go through the process of fingering yourself.

1. Relax

It might be challenging to get aroused and orgasm if you feel shy or awkward. So, the first step would be to relax. This is your time to enjoy yourself. Make sure you are somewhere comfortable. You could even light some candles or play music to set the mood.

2. Tease Yourself

This can help increase your arousal. Stroke and massage the erogenous zones in your body like your breasts, inner thighs, neck, and around the vagina. Enjoy the tension building up in your body.

3. Fingering Yourself

Now, you can start fingering yourself. Bring your hand down and gently massage your clitoris. You can try different stroking patterns such as circular motions, up-and-down motions, etc. Explore different types of touch to find what you like. Lubricate your finger and then slide one finger in up till the knuckle.

4. Building an Orgasm

As you start the in-and-out motion of your finger inside your vagina, the tension will keep building. You will slowly reach a peak and orgasm. You can still enjoy yourself if you don’t orgasm.

5. Explore

Now that you know how to finger yourself, you can start exploring different things that feel good for you, such as learning what kind of stimulation you prefer.

Best Fingering Positions

  • Insert the finger inside the vagina and tilt your hips. This slight change in the angle will bring pleasure to the vagina. Brush your fingertips against the G-spot.
  • The G-spot will most likely be located near the belly button. When you put your finger into your vagina, you will feel the bumpy G-spot. Simulate it with a come hither motion.
  • One of the best positions for fingering is also the 69 position. It is an excellent example of giving and receiving during sexual intercourse with your partner.
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Also read: Does female masturbation affect ovulation and pregnancy?

Best Practices on How to Finger Your Vagina

Keep your nails short

Long, sharp nails lead to micro-tears in your vagina. This could cause infections and unwanted pain, and discomfort.

Wash your hands thoroughly

Washing your hands is essential to clear all bacteria and toxins from your skin, so they do not reach the insides of your vagina.

How to Orgasm with Fingering

  • Fingering your vagina in a come hither motion can help you reach orgasm. This motion will stimulate the G-spot directly.
  • A continuous and slow rhythm is the key to a pleasing fingering experience. Fingering during foreplay is a technique to arouse your vagina before sex. Ensure that the pace and pressure of fingering is working according to your needs.

We hope this article could give you a gist of how to finger your vagina. Most women can’t reach an orgasm with penetration alone. In such cases, fingering and clitoral stimulation come extremely handy. Your body is worth exploring and pleasure is for everyone!

Pro Tips for Fingering

Certain things can help improve the experience of fingering. They are as follows:

1. Wash your hands to prevent contracting an infection.

2. Set the mood so you feel safe and relaxed. Find a private space, play sexy music, light candles, wear sexy lingerie, etc.

3. Foreplay can help you build mental readiness for physical pleasure. Even if you are alone, do not skip this stage. You can build arousal by watching porn, reading erotica, listening to a sex podcast, or even dry hump.

4. You can elongate your pleasure by touching your entire body. This is your chance to learn about the kind of touch your body responds to well. Explore all the erogenous zones of your body.

5. Lubricant is necessary for any kind of sexual encounter. Apply the lube in the beginning and reapply as required.

6. You can start your fingering session by teasing the clitoris. Experiment with different motions, speeds, and pressures.

7. Start with inserting one finger into your vaginal opening. It’s best to start with a slow stroking motion. Once you are ready, you can insert more fingers. Once your vagina relaxes, begin moving your finger in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the g-spot.

8. Sex toys can make fingering even more fun. You can use dildos, vibrators, anal plugs, etc.

Benefits of Fingering

There is so much to masturbation beyond pleasure. It has a wide range of effects on our bodies. So, what are the benefits of fingering?

1. Reduce Stress

In our day-to-day lives, we may feel overwhelmed by stress or anxiety. However, when you pleasure yourself, hormones, including endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin, are released when you pleasure yourself. These act as natural stress-busters and feel-good hormones that help relieve stress and induce sleep.

2. Relieve Cramps

Judith Golden, a sex therapist, says the strength and intensity of an orgasm can help relieve cramps. This is because of the release of endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine, which act as pain relievers.

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3. Safety Concerns

You never have to worry about getting pregnant or contracting an STD while fingering since you are using your own fingers.

4. Confidence

When you start fingering yourself regularly, you understand your body better, as well as your likes and dislikes. Knowing what you want can help you to boost your confidence level.

5. Strengthen the Pelvic Floor

While fingering, your heart rate, breathing, and muscle tone increase as your body build-up to orgasm. Fingering also helps to lift off the pelvic floor, thereby strengthening the entire pelvic region.

Fingering Side Effects

Fingering with too much friction or pressure could lead to irritation in the area. Ensure that you use enough lubrication while fingering. Else, you could get little tears in the lining of your vagina.

Always wash your hands before fingering yourself. While the risk is low, if your partner fingers you, it is possible to pass on STDs such as HPV, Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, Herpes, HIV, etc.

Myths and Misconceptions About Fingering

Firstly, there is a misconception that women do not self-pleasure. However, many women do, and it is quite normal. Most women start their self-pleasure journey by learning how to finger themselves.

Secondly, fingering yourself has nothing to do with your virginity. Many people believe fingering will break your hymen, making you lose your virgin status. However, it is possible to break your hymen through other activities such as strenuous exercise. The condition of your hymen has nothing to do with your virginity.

Thirdly, people may believe it is wrong to masturbate or finger yourself if you are in a relationship. However, there is nothing wrong with self-pleasuring. Have open conversations with your partner.

Safety Advice and Special Considerations

Beyond fingering side effects, is there anything else you must take into consideration?

Despite fingering being a low-risk sexual activity, you should use safe practices. You can pass on infections through fingering, which is why you must wash your hands before you begin. You might also want to use finger cots or gloves to lower the chances of infection. If you do use gloves or finger cots, discard them before you move on to any other body parts. The anus and vulva can get easily irritated as they are sensitive areas. Ensure you use plenty of lube. Also, make sure to cut your nails so that you don’t scratch any part of your genitals.

Conclusion

Considering all the knowledge we gained, is fingering good for health? Yes, it is! It has tons of health benefits for your physical and mental health. It floods your body with endorphins which improve your mood. It helps you to sleep better and reduces stress. It enables you to avoid infections. Moreover, there are no side effects to fingering.

FAQs

How to Insert a Finger in the Vagina?

Slowly insert one finger up to your first knuckle joint. Lightly massage the inside of your vagina.

Can Fingering Cause Pregnancy?

No, fingering cannot cause pregnancy. Only sperm that fertilises an egg can make you pregnant. Ensure your hands are clean while fingering.

Is Fingering Good for Health?

Yes, fingering is good for health because it releases the endorphin oxytocin, which helps you relax. Moreover, there are no side effects to fingering yourself.

References

Zachary Zane (2020) Here’s How to Get Way Better at Fingering, According to Women https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a30871220/how-to-finger-a-woman/

Nieves Martin-Alguacil, Justine M. Schober (2008) Clitoral Sexual Arousal: Neuronal Tracing Study From the Clitoris Through the Spinal Tracts – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2740385/

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