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Why Is Days Of Our Lives So Bad

Sometimes, we, as soap opera viewers can take things for granted — like knowing what’s going on after watching thousands of episodes over the course of decades! Soaps like Days of Our Lives do an admirable job of reiterating plot points every episode, though ideally they can do that without sounding repetitive and cliched, while giving viewers who haven’t watched before an easy way to jump in.

And love a current story or hate it, Days of Our Lives is almost always a wild ride. I’ve had to watch a few episodes with my boyfriend lately, which has been putting the show’s ability to draw new viewers in to the test. Now, I’ve been covering soaps for about 16 years and, thanks to my mom, grew up watching One Life to Live and The Young and the Restless.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, has never seen a soap — at least not an American one. So I thought it would be fun to record his reactions to a Days of Our Lives episode and share it with the world. But while he has somewhat uncertainly agreed to go along with this experiment, I want to give him some privacy, so I’ll just refer to him as “M” in this. (“Ooh,” he noted, “I’ll take a cool James Bond name!”)

Abe holds Paulina

“Brace yourself, Paulina, this may be a wild ride.”

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

Now, this isn’t his absolute first time watching Days of Our Lives, but he’s only seen two episodes before. I try not to subject him to it too much, but sometimes when he’s around, I’ve got to watch it so I don’t fall behind for work. Still, as he said when we started this episode, “I know some characters, but it’s weird to see a whole new bunch.”

And Tuesday’s episode was not with his normal folks! For readers who want to follow along, we watched the January 23 episode, and you can check out the recap here. There were, at least, a few characters he recognized. Paulina and Abe were folks he remembered, which I forgot. As they waited in the hospital together, I explained that Abe lost his memory and gave the mayorship to Paulina, but at least they’d fallen back in love. I was expecting guffaws, but instead M calmly told me, “I remember that. Oh God,” he then gasped. “What are you turning me into?!”

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The newspaper fellas (Chad and Everett) in the next scene, though, were entirely new. They were the ones who prompted the, “Wow, I don’t know any of these people.” Honestly, no one quite knows who Everett is, so that’s fine. And Chad he just dubbed “the one with the crazy blue eyes.” Somehow, I never noticed how blue Billy Flynn’s eyes were before!

Stacy Haiduk, Judi Evans, Paul Telfer susan bonnie xander kidnapping clown mask jpi days

This is fine. Covering it up with an ex is not fine.

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

Xander and Sarah were also new to him. He asked if Xander was actually Scottish (M is English, so yes, you should be reading his comments with an English accent) and I said he was. Paul Telfer is a bona fide Scotsman!

I explained a bit of “Xarah’s” history, telling him that Xander used to be a sociopath who did Uncle Victor’s dirty work and he and Sarah split the last time after he kidnapped Susan (who then died, except not really) and Bonnie. His response: “What the hell?!”

Don’t worry, I assured him. That wasn’t the biggest sticking point for Sarah, so much as Xander working with his ex, Gwen, to cover it all up. That got an incredulous laugh before M paused. “Actually… I feel that.” (Note to self, don’t plot with my exes.)

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Once we got over to the Bistro, I had to do some more explaining about who Stefan and Ava are, their restaurant and being forced to use it as a drug front by Clyde Weston. He recognized Stefan from another episode, but admitted, “I vaguely remember him, but I don’t remember him with a mustache.” Wow. I stammered a bit and squinted and realized for the first time that Stefan did have a mustache! I am zero for zero in being observant about physical characteristics.

Stephanie sits across a Bistro table from Ava and Stefan.

Did that mustache sneak up on anyone else? I thought he was just getting scruffy.

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

Oh, I told M, and they’re faking a relationship to throw everyone off the scent. He wasn’t buying it. “What the… How does… how does that distract from anything?” I tried explaining that it was an excuse for them to be together all the time, but he just sighed in defeat, “OK, sure, let’s do that.” Am I crazy or does it make sense to me? Maybe I didn’t explain it right. Or maybe I’m too used to soap logic.

At this point, Sarah got to the hospital. She was a doctor, I told M as she spoke with Paulina, Abe and Chanel about the mayor’s thyroid cancer diagnosis. I realized lamely that it was kind of obvious what with the coat and stethoscope and all, but he thanked me anyway.

“Honestly you say that,” he said, “but good. I don’t know. On this show, she could be running around conning the town! She’s Doctor Death!!” (I’d just finished watching the second season of that on Peacock and had explained to him how many murder doctors were in the real world.)

But seeing her in action made him question her credentials even more. When she shrugged that “there may be some unforeseen complications,” M looked at me aghast. “What complications?? That’s the most cavalier doctor ever! Maybe don’t have her give the diagnosis?”

In the nurses hub, Sarah earnestly regards a downcast Chanel.

“Why are you asking me questions, Chanel? I just put on the stethoscope and stand behind the counter here to look cool.”

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

By the time Sarah got to “I believe we can schedule your surgery this week,” M was pretty sure he’d figured it out. “She is the most questioning doctor ever! Is she sure of anything?” He turned to look at me. “Are you sure she’s a doctor? I’m not sure she isn’t faking it. She seems to be flying by the seat of her pants here.”

And he was just done with her when Sarah paused and looked thoughtful, saying, “I believe the survival rate is… 90 percent?” (With a definite question mark.) “You should be sure before you tell people!!”

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It’s fine, I told him. She’s not even Paulina’s doctor. Cue Paulina saying she wanted Sarah as her doctor… Whoops. Luckily, Sarah said she’d be better off with a specialist. “I agree!” M yelled.

It was at this point I thought it might be a good idea to distract him, so I told him Chanel was one of the ones who had a threesome. “Oh, is that why she’s dressed like Cher from Clueless,” he asked. I just looked at him. “You don’t see it?” Actually, now that he mentioned it, her suit was kind of similar to one of Cher’s plaid suits. Though I didn’t remember a threesome in Clueless…

Mashup of Days

A power suit’s a power suit.

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI, Paramount/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

Meanwhile, over at The Spectator, Xander had joined Chad and Everett and then Leo entered and… “The gay’s back!” M exclaimed. “I thought you said he left. He was blackmailing to pay for all his ugly suits.”

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No, no, I told him. Leo hadn’t gone anywhere, he was sticking around town while he blackmailed Sloan — the one who stole the baby. These four, though, are literally the only people who seem to work at the paper. But when they were all complimenting Leo on being a “damn good writer,” M’s response was, “Well, that’s good, because he sure as hell can’t dress himself.”

OK, he’s definitely not a fan of Leo’s suits. But that’s when Stefan entered and there were too many soap opera guys on the screen for M to keep track of.

Days

“Don’t mind me, fellas. I’m just watching Clone Wars.”

Credit: Peacock screenshot

“It’s like if a bunch of really offbeat clones walked in,” he noted, getting slightly confused by everyone. “They all kind of look kind of the same, but not quite. They all keep walking in and I’m like, ‘Who’s related and who…’ It’s like the meeting of the offbeat clones!”

Well, I told him, Stefan and Chad are half-brothers, so good news, they’re supposed to be related and if they look similar, that works! “Mustache and Blue Eyes are related? OK, got it.”

Back with Stephanie and Ava (or Mustard Dress as M took to calling her), I had to explain that the tension between them was not sexual — I’m pretty sure Chanel is the only non-straight woman left in Salem — but because Stephanie woke up with Harris after getting drunk, and he used to date Ava. Kind of. M thought they were about to make out. “It’s like they’re, ‘OK, we gotta get back to… business,’” he said seductively. Well, there’s a story Days of Our Lives hasn’t explored yet with those two.

Days

M’s reaction to the two of them borderline threatening each other over Harris: “Are they gonna make out??”

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

Oh, and Harris was also the cop who met with Clyde the day before, I told him. (Fun fact: M recognized both James Read and Greg Vaughan the other day from Charmed. Like Eric, Vaughan’s Charmed character was a nice guy, but boring. And like Clyde, Read’s character was a horrible father. So he got a grasp of both of them fast.)

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Back at the paper, Stefan had pulled Chad out in the hallway to tell him to kill any mention of the Bistro, adding that Chad should know how quick people were to blame the DiMeras for everything. Their dad was a supervillain, I told M. Like the try to take over the world type. “Like… the Joker?” he asked incredulously.

I then explained how Stefano died and came back to life all the time, brainwashed people and once, after his final death, put his mind into someone else with a microchip and his “essence,” turning Steve (the guy with the eye patch) into “Stevano.” And that’s when M pointed out that that was exactly the plot of Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, which takes place in Batman’s distant future. The Joker returns decades after dying by putting a microchip with his mind in it in a grown up Robin and taking his body over.

BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER, from left: New Joker (voice: Mark Hamill), Dee Dee (voice: Melissa Joan Hart), Woof (voice: Frank Welker), 2000. © Warner Bros. / Courtesy: Everett Collection

Is this “JokeRobin” or “Stevano?” Who can say.

Jaw. Drop. We’re both comic book geeks and Batman is my favorite, so I was more than a little aghast that I hadn’t spotted that before. And for the record, Batman Beyond did it first.

Anyway, back on screen, Stefan was pointing out to Chad that he should know what it feels like to be falsely accused, what with people thinking he was the Necktie Killer. Oh! I exclaimed. The Necktie Killer was the guy from the day before (Robert Scott Wilson, who’s playing Alex), who used to play a serial killer (Ben) who got better after therapy.

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“OK,” M sighed. “Why not? And that’s why [Chad] doesn’t wear a necktie! Ever since he got accused of being the Necktie Killer, he’s like, ‘I don’t believe in ties. I open my shirt, you can see my chest hair. I can never wear a necktie again. Everyone will think I’m the Necktie Killer.’”

will strangled by ben necktie killer days

Ben Weston: Ruining neckties for the good people of Salem forever.

Credit: Image: Jill Johnson/JPI

Then Chad went back in to inform the rest of the staff that they’d be staying away from the Bistro angle and M caught another detail. “Oh God, is that why none of them wear neckties?? They’re like, ‘We don’t want to be associated with the Necktie Killer?’”

With Chad being all bossy, I next filled M in that Chad owned half the paper and Xander owned the other half. Chad bought his half to fire Everett (which he undid) and Xander got his by blackmailing the original owner, Jack, and threatening to turn his wife in for a hit and run. But that was OK because Jack got control of the paper by blackmailing the woman who owned the other half years ago.

“Is anybody a legitimate business owner??” M asked. Which was a fair question after he found out about the Bistro being a drug front. And honestly, in Salem, probably not.

Jack and Xander scowl at each other in the park.

Xander stole the paper from Jack. Jack stole the paper from Leo’s mom, Diana Colville. And no one in Salem really runs a legitimate business.

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

Speaking of the Bistro, Stefan was getting back to Ava and Stephanie in the next scene, which really confused M.

“I thought this was happening at the same time,” he said, baffled. “He had time to run to the paper and come back and they’re still chatting.” I mentioned something about teleportation in Salem and jumping between scenes, but even that was tough to justify once Stephanie left and Ava asked how Stefan’s visit with Gabi went before heading to The Spectator.

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“When did he see Gabi?!” M was incredulous. “He made it to the prison, then to the newspaper, and then back all in the time it took them to converse!”

Um… Soap opera travel is a magical thing? Then they got into Lucas and him getting beat up, but M didn’t have much interest in all that jazz. Instead, I told him Stefan and Ava’s backstory a bit. She’s part of a mafia family and his family are occasional supervillains, but they can’t figure out how to deal with Clyde.

At the Bistro, Stefan holds a bottle of sparkling wine as he intently observes Ava. She glowers while holding a phone to her ear. Two champagne glasses sit on the table between them.

“I’m popping a bottle of champagne for all of us. M made it through the episode without his head exploding!”

Credit: Jill Johnson/JPI

“Just kill him!” M exclaimed. Then he pointed at Stefan. “He’s wearing a tie, bring back the Necktie Killer! This dude’s the only one wearing a tie, so bring it back.”

Ava and Stefan then broke out the champagne and that was it. Honestly, I was impressed with how quickly he caught things and how he noticed stuff that I never did. The first time he ever watched an episode with me, M just said, “I hate how invested I am in this already.” So whether he could keep up with all the weirdness and backstory, one thing is clear: Days of Our Lives knows how to entertain!

Days of Our Lives now exclusively airs on Peacock. To make sure you never miss an episode, subscribe to Peacock. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

If you’re new to Days of Our Lives or just want to catch up with everyone onscreen and what’s been happening, check out our handy photo gallery guide of who’s who and what’s going on in Salem right now below!

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