What to do when you’re bored with life

When you’ve landed here, wondering why your life is so boring, I suspect you barely find the energy to get up in the morning.

You could be feeling anything from fed up to bored like hell to so freaking bored you’re depressed.I’d love to be able to help you find more meaning and purpose in your life so that you stop feeling bored with everything.

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The good news is that you’re already on your way to transforming your life by searching for a solution!

What do I know about being bored with life?

Why life is boring (read: why life seems boring)

As a therapist (now retired), I have counselled countless people who were listless, tired, bored with everything and fed up with life.

What most of them had in common was that they weren’t meeting their essential emotional needs in balance and misused their inborn resources – the human givens.

In addition, these days, we’re becoming increasingly conditioned to constant stimulation via our screens. And, social media influencers would have us believe their lives are far more fulfilling than yours can ever be. No wonder you think your life is boring if you’re sensitive to such untrues.

I know, though, that you’ve arrived in this world with unique talents and skills you were always meant to contribute. You might now winch as you’re reading that. But stick with me, and let’s work together to stop you from wondering why your life is so boring.

But, before we go on, it might be helpful to know that famous people are no less prone to boredom! It’s all about expectations.

Embrace your boredom!

Also, know that boredom doesn’t have to be ‘bad’ in itself – you could even embrace it, according to this BBC article (link opens in a new tab).

How to stop feeling bored by meeting your essential emotional needs

Here are our essential emotional needs:

• The need for meaning and purpose (too often lacking when you’re bored)
• The need to feel stretched – no wonder you’re bored if that’s missing
• The need for a sense of achievement – that won’t happen either when you’re bored
• The need to be recognised for who you are, what you do and mean to the community
• The need for a sense of control (without becoming controlling!)
• The need for giving and receiving attention. Attention is like food – we cannot go without it.
• The need for a sense of community and belonging – it helps us feel connected, prevents loneliness and provides ‘entertainment’
• The need for fun, friendship and laughter
• The need for intimacy – a stable provision of emotional intimacy provides
• The need for privacy and time and space to reflect.

Here’s a free printable worksheet to help discover how you meet your essential emotional needs.

Read on to learn more about how some of those emotional needs are connected with you feeling bored with life.

You’re never bored for ‘no reason’. So, let’s unpick why you think life is so boring.

Uncover the reason why you’re bored with life

I’ll ask the questions, and you think about them for a moment before you read on:

Do you feel your life has meaning and purpose?

Just like every human being on this earth, your life needs to be meaningful and purposeful for you to feel that it’s worthwhile living.

Meaning and purpose act like a set of glasses through which you view the world. They form the basis of your motivation, thoughts, feelings and actions.

Without a purpose, your life could quickly become a meaningless, never-ending stream of mundanity and trouble and strife. It leaves you at risk of randomly applying yourself dispassionately to the first thing that presents itself, comes to mind or appears satisfying at that moment. In other words, you’re aiming for short-term gain but long-term trouble.

So, why is your life boring?

Without challenging, worthwhile and purposeful activity, you’re soon left feeling depleted, tired, hopeless and bored.

How come?

Your need for meaning and purpose is an inborn essential emotional need. You were born with a template – downloaded from your genes – that requires being ‘fulfilled’ in your physical environment.

Your brain focuses on whatever it can do to complete that task. It’s up to you to seek external resources to help complete, maintain, and refine that template into a pattern – throughout your life.

So…

• What were you born to do?
• What did you naturally incline towards as a child? What did you let go as an adult (or made to ‘forget’)?
• What held your interest?
• What natural talents do you know you have but have never seen or acknowledged as an important messenger about your purpose in life?

You don’t have to have a TV-talent-show ‘abilities’!

Perhaps your talents are being good with people, animals, arts, crafts, woodwork, numbers, music, languages, cooking, business – you name it. It matters only that it stretches you and helps you to achieve. And that it connects with and contributes to other people’s needs.

Do you feel you’re being stretched and are achieving something with your life?

I suspect the answer to that question is negative, though I may be wrong.

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Together with meaning and purpose, the need to stretch yourself and have a sense of achievement relates most directly to why your life is boring.

So, your life is likely much less boring if:

• You’re still learning, regardless of your age or academic inclination.
• You’re achieving a satisfying level of competence in something that really interests you.
• You’re constantly updating your skills (and thereby boosting your self-esteem and confidence).
• You get out of your comfort zone in challenging situations.
• You’re grabbing opportunities to diversify your interests.
• You spend your time with friends who inspire you.

If you don’t feel stimulated at work, or you don’t find opportunities for learning and growth, that’s a health hazard, according to research.

Granted, you may be unable to change your job ‘just like that’. But if you know you’re not being stretched, it’s definitely time to start thinking about how you can make changes to remedy that – at home and work.

Here are some resources to start you off – for free:

Doing something new, something that interests and excites you will help to:

• Divert your thoughts away from problems
• Make new friends
• Spend less time worrying
• Feel excited and inspired
• Have a sense of purpose (most important!)
• And ultimately, stop feeling life is so boring.

Do you feel some sense of control over your environment – at home and work?

You’ve discovered that meaning, purpose, feeling stretched, and a sense of achievement are essential to a life well-lived.

Yet another need is for a sense of control and volition, meaning your actions (positively) impact your life.

Granted, we have little control over much in life. But we often do have a choice.

However, if you lack confidence, you’re more likely to avoid asserting your wishes, needs and wants.

That limits your opportunities to actively take control of aspects of your environment and how you lead your life. It leads to stress, anxiety and quickly feeling overwhelmed and avoidance behaviour. You’ll more likely let opportunities to widen your horizon and develop yourself pass you by.

Still wondering why you’re bored with life? Guess what? The problem is not your boredom but your lack of confidence.

I would love for you to feel confident (again) so that you can engage with people and opportunities without that anxiety.

I’ll bet you find it easier to do with the help of some self-hypnosis (see my article: Hypnosis Downloads and FAQ). Self-hypnosis with a professional audio download is a very user-friendly and practical aid to shift all sorts of personal issues.

For you, I highly recommend the Overcome Life Dissatisfaction self-hypnosis audio download.

Alternatively, if you can afford it, I recommend you get started with the support and guidance of a licensed therapist.

3 ways to help beat boredom with life

1. Healing mental health issues

Are mental health problems preventing you from meeting your emotional needs?

If so, know that you’re not on your own. At any one time, one in five people suffers from mental health issues. One in four will suffer in a lifetime.

The moment you begin to take some positive action, you’ll notice a lift in your mood. You’re likely to feel more in control and buoyed up.

That is unless you’re misusing your imagination (an inborn resource!) and begin to conjure up all kinds of reasons why something isn’t going to work.

If you do – stop that (easily said, isn’t it)!

Divert your attention to something more positive. It may be harder to overcome feelings of dissatisfaction and boredom with life if you’re suffering from mental health problems – but, as a therapist – I know you can do it!

Your plan of action

In addition to working to meet your essential emotional needs in balance, read whichever of the following articles speak to you:

• Treating depression without medication
• Why you suffer from anxiety ‘for no reason’
• How to treat anxiety
• Why you suffer from stress ‘for no reason’
• Dealing with addictions (see also further down)or
• How to get over a nervous breakdown.

Of course, if you can afford it, I recommend connecting with a licensed therapist to get professional support and guidance. link

2. Being bored in your relationship

Being bored in your relationship compromises your need for intimacy, fun, friendship, laughter, meaning and purpose.

So, it’s super important to tackle it.

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Let’s start with taking what you’re feeling now at face value and see if and how it relates to you personally:

• Do you easily get bored with people in general?
• Have you got bored in previous relationships?
• Does it occur in discernible cycles?
• Can you see a pattern?

Our brain works by ‘pattern matching’ – it instantly compares what’s happening now with a huge array of previously established patterns. Those questions might help you to uncover a pattern of relating to people.

Your plan of action

1. Chances are you’ve got into the habit of focussing on things you don’t like about people. So, take the time to pay attention to what you do like about them.
2. Figure out what the trigger is for you to become bored. Could it be that you suddenly become bored when someone starts withdrawing from you? Telling yourself, you’re bored with them might stop you from feeling hurt.
3. Read my article on what to do when you’re bored in your marriage or relationship.

3. Dealing with addictions

It can be ever so easy to attempt to dull that sense of emptiness with substance abuse, an over-indulgence in adult material or excess shopping.

Your plan of action

In addition to following all the above advice, read whichever article applies to you:

1. Symptoms of addiction to adult material
2. Stages of alcoholism stages or
3. Shopping addiction symptoms.

How to stop feeling bored

It’s easy – when you start with tiny, oft-repeated steps. Choose one of the following to make a start…

5 science-backed tips to get you started on changing your life today

1. Start exercising

Begin with just twice a week for 30 minutes. Build up to 2 to 3 hours a week ideally.

You need to get off the couch. Come away from your desk, computer, laptop, or TV. At the very least, start walking – at a good pace (there’s even a hypnosis download for exercise motivation).

Your brain developed millions of years ago around the expectation of movement. It still needs it now to function well. Dull brain, dull body, dull you, dull life. Give it a push!

2. Stop waiting to be invited

Invite your friends, colleagues, the neighbours, the woman in the shop, the man behind the counter – anyone you like to banter with.

Plan, eat, drink (moderately) or have non-alcoholic drinks, watch movies, picnic, or play games. Rinse and repeat. The Huffington Post published a great article on the importance of social connections (opens in a new tab).

3. Change your eating pattern

I suspect you are nibbling your way through the day just because you’re bored! Food can change your mood – for better or worse.

Read Dr Kelly Brogan MD’s article on how depression is linked with your diet in ways you would never have thought (https://kellybroganmd.com/5-foods-that-can-cause-depression/).

4. Get in touch with nature

Sit with your back against a tree, watching the world go by, and listen to the birds. If you live in an urban area, notice those tough but often beautiful weeds growing in the most unlikely places.

Go out to discover the local parks. Notice the trees, see the insects going about their daily business and the beauty of the skies. Grow your own plants or veggies – at home on your balcony, in your garden, or reclaim a patch of rough ground in your neighbourhood.

Read this article (opens in a new tab) of the University of Minnesota’s department: Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing.

5. Find a charity and volunteer

I can’t think of a greater motivator and provider of meaning and purpose. It doesn’t cost much except for your time. Being of service to other people is a mood changer (opens in a new tab).

Try different organisations, and commit initially for no longer than a month until you find something that’s right for you.

While you’re out and about – look for opportunities for Random Acts of Kindness. These, too, are great mood-boosters. And the process of looking for opportunities for RAoKs turns a tedious commuter journey or shopping trip into a fun-filled game with positive intent.

The prize?

You feel happy doing something kind, and someone else feels happy because you fulfilled some of their essential needs (you can now figure out which ones!). It’s a win-win!

Just for good measure – do watch this National Geographic video (opens in a new tab) about the soothing impact of being in tune with nature.

Finally

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you can’t expect anything new to happen in your life.

When you’re bored with life, the only remedy is to take action.

Figure out which of your essential emotional needs is (or are) off balance. Then think about how you can create for yourself the interest, happiness and excitement you crave by meeting those needs. Get creative!

Know that you’re not here by accident. You are born with unique abilities and resources – the world needs you! There’s no one on this earth exactly like you. So step up to the plate and contribute – in your unique way!

Remember, you’re far stronger and more resilient than you think. I believe in you!

Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY