It’s the hottest debate of the week — why husbands are left shivering in bed because of their partner’s cold bottom. Here, writer Nick Harding, 48, gives the low-down on the chilly derriere of his wife Stephanie, 38, while she reveals her ingenious solution to the problem..

NICK SAYS:

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My wife Stephanie and I have a little problem in the bedroom. It became apparent on one of the first nights we spent together. We fell asleep spooning, nestled in the warm blanket of new love.

I’m not sure what time I awoke, but I distinctly remember the cold. It was as if someone had placed ice blocks under the John Lewis duvet. I had goose bumps and my stomach and thighs were pressed against something cold and hard.

‘She’s passed away in her sleep,’ I panicked. I felt around under the covers for signs of life. There was nothing; just my lovely girlfriend’s freezing, lifeless buttocks.

Terrified, I reached over to the bedside table to get a mirror to hold under her nose and check for signs of breathing. That’s when her eyes opened and I got the shock of my life.

It was my first introduction to a set of buttocks that can get so cold, they create their own microclimate.

We’ve always put this weird biological anomaly down to the fact Stephanie suffers from a condition called Raynaud’s syndrome, which is triggered by cold temperatures and causes blood vessels in her extremities to go into a temporary spasm, blocking the flow of blood.

It frequently leaves her fingers and toes deathly white or bruised-plum purple. With the addition of her ice-block bot, it can sometimes feel like crawling into bed with Nosferatu.

Not even exercise can warm up Stephanie’s posterior. Often, she’ll go for a run, return hot and sweaty, stand in a steamy shower for 20 minutes and still have sub-zero cheeks.

Even in hot climates, Stephanie’s bottom remains cold, particularly after a swim. I swear there have been times when condensation droplets have formed on it. It really is remarkable.

STEPHANIE SAYS:

I first realised something was really amiss with my bottom’s thermostat when I started running marathons in my 30s.

I would go out on training runs and return boiling hot all over, apart from my backside, which remained stubbornly cold.

It was like dragging two small icebergs around in my running shorts.

Going swimming is the same. After a dip in the pool on holiday I will seek out the nearest hot surface and bask on it for hours like a lizard.

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My body temperature is all over the place. I get hot in bed, to the point of night sweats, but have to keep my bum covered because it has a mind of its own.

Consequently, sheets and covers need to be arranged in a particular order, so the hot parts stay cool and my bum stays covered.

Nick doesn’t understand this and will lie there harrumphing, while I carefully position the bed linen around us to allow me a comfortable night’s sleep.

It doesn’t help when I steal his underwear, which provides much better coverage than my own when the chills are at their worst. Nick used to happily cuddle up and share his body heat. He doesn’t so much any more.

It’s not that I’ve given him the cold shoulder — I’ve been giving him the cold bottom for years instead.

The one remedy I have found is our cat, Barry. On cold nights, I coax him onto the bed and nestle against him.

His warm fur and my cold skin find a happy equilibrium.

So, can it really be true that women have naturally frostier bottoms than men? Alice Smellie — who herself admits to having a cold bottom — investigated and the science might surprise you . . .

YES, WOMEN ARE COLDER THAN MEN

‘Women’s overall external body temperature is slightly lower than that of men,’ says Dr Clare Morrison, of online pharmacy MedExpress. ‘Women usually have a smaller skin surface area from which to lose heat, less muscle and a slower metabolism, meaning all their skin is a bit cooler. It all adds up to the reason men complain about their partners feeling like blocks of ice at bed time.’

Skin temperature varies around the body, with the trunk hovering between 33.5c and 36.9c. Temperature is lower over protruding or curved body parts such as the nose and fingers.

And the more subcutaneous fat an area has, the lower the skin temperature — which is the key to explaining those chilly posteriors.

WE HAVE FAT IN DIFFERENT PLACES

‘Fat distribution is a key difference between the sexes. Men have what’s known as android morphology, where body fat is mostly above the waist,’ says Colin Crosby, consultant in sport and exercise medicine at BMI Hendon Hospital. ‘Women have gynoid morphology, where body fat distribution is below the waist — and around hips and thighs.’

This distinction develops in puberty, as a result of male and female hormones. And more fat in an area means colder skin.

Women’s larger (and colder) buttocks give them an evolutionary advantage, storing fat that can provide nutrients during and after pregnancy. ‘The accumulation of particularly large amounts of fat is known as steatopygia,’ says Colin.

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COLD BOTTOMS SHOW WE ARE HEAT EFFICIENT

‘Women’s bodies may be less good at producing heat, but they are better developed to conserve core temperature,’ says Dr Morrison. ‘That’s to ensure when a women is pregnant the foetus is kept sufficiently warm, even when the ambient temperature drops.

‘To help with this goal, women have more fatty tissue — particularly on the stomach and bottom — to insulate against heat loss.’

MUSCLY BOTTOMS MAKE MEN HOTTER

Both sexes have large, strong gluteal muscles in their bottoms — but men have more muscle percentage wise.

‘Circulation behaves differently in muscle and fat. There are more blood vessels in muscle, which expends more energy and therefore heat,’ says Colin. As men have a higher muscle to fat ratio, their bottoms are hotter.

as women get older, they get colder

Might the bottom get colder with age? ‘The rest of the body gets cooler as blood flow slows down during ageing,’ says Colin.

‘Women have slower blood flow and lower cardiac output than men anyway. Without the effects of oestrogen after the menopause, it’s possible that blood flow is less than that of men.’

Less total blood flow means even less heat in the extremities.

‘We know there are vasoactive changes during the menopause,’ says consultant obstetrician Clive Spence-Jones. ‘Think of the hot flushes which women go through as hormone levels fluctuate.’

While it’s not known how this affects the bottom, the body’s heat settings end up a little less reliable — which could make existing chilly problems worse.

EXERCISE CAN MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE

You’d think a tough workout would leave you glowing all over — but apparently not. I tested it out by going for a three-mile run, and found my buttock temperature remained freezing, although I was extremely warm.

‘It’s very straightforward science,’ says Colin. ‘Blood flow is determined by what you’re doing. At rest, there will be about the same blood supply to fat and muscle. When exercising, there will be about five to ten times increase in blood supply to muscle and far less will go to fat, which as a result won’t heat up as much.’

Another thing that heats our skin up during exercise is sweating, which happens so our bodies can get rid of excess heat. ‘Sweating creates a sheen of water over the body, then blood vessels on the surface of the skin dilate, heating the area up. This evaporates the sweat and maintains body temperature — you are getting rid of heat in the evaporated sweat.’

But the skin on your bottom has less blood flow and fewer sweat glands, so doesn’t heat up in the same way.

Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY