The LGBTQ+ community continues to fight for recognition and acceptance of their rights. As someone who identifies as heterosexual, I feel it is crucial to show support for all individuals facing oppression due to their sexual orientation. While my perspective may be limited primarily to gay men, I am committed to promoting inclusivity and understanding for all members of the LGBTQ+ community.
A year ago, I had no openly gay friends in my social circle. My exposure to homosexuality had been quite typical. When I was seven, my mother mentioned people referred to as “fairies” and cautioned me to be wary of them, explaining that their existence was unfortunate for them and inconvenient for society. After that, the topic was seldom discussed at home, except for the occasional news coverage of Anita Bryant. While we considered Anita somewhat eccentric, our views on homosexuality were not deeply informed. At school, the terms “gay” and “fag” were used as insults towards students who didn’t conform to societal norms. Homosexuality only gained attention when the women’s studies class invited a lesbian speaker, leading to parental complaints.
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These experiences strongly influenced my perception of homosexuality. Like many others in society, I viewed it as unnatural and repulsive. I saw it as a deviant form of sexuality, something to be suppressed or controlled. Even though I joined in on the standard jokes about homosexuality, deep down, it made me very uncomfortable.
One morning, I noticed a poster on my door that read, “Do you know someone you care about is gay?” While walking to breakfast, I mentally ran through the list of people I cared about, confidently concluding that none of them were gay. I dismissed the poster as propaganda for the upcoming Gay/Lesbian Awareness Day (GLAD).
Later that night, one of my closest friends asked to speak with me. This was unusual because we typically spoke openly about anything. As I observed his nervous demeanor, I became increasingly intrigued. Finally, after a long and agonizing preamble, he revealed that he was gay and had known throughout our friendship.
I did my best to remain composed, but internally, I felt a mix of shock and confusion. I attempted to appear calm and excused myself to process the information alone. As I sat on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts, the magnitude of the situation struck me: “How could I have not known this about my friend?” “Why didn’t he confide in me earlier?” “How does his homosexuality affect his thoughts and behaviors?” “What does this mean for our relationship?” “I find homosexuality repulsive, so how can my close friend be gay?” “I know how I perceive gay individuals, so how can he be one?”
Suddenly, my friend’s face came to mind. I could still see the vulnerability he displayed, anticipating my reaction. There he was, my friend, waiting for my acceptance or rejection. Rejecting him… that thought made me pause and reflect on our friendship. I recollected the moments we had shared, the common interests we had enjoyed, and the mutual support we had provided. And he had been gay throughout all of it. But weren’t those moments just as meaningful and positive? It didn’t take long to realize that they were. Couldn’t our future interactions be equally fulfilling? Of course, the only difference now was that I was aware of something that had always been true.
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My thoughts then shifted to his perspective. I cringed, remembering instances when homosexuality had come up in conversation. What a masterful actor he had been! He had laughed at the same jokes and expressed the same opinions as I did. In groups of friends, he had ranked girls alongside everyone else.
I realized how isolated he must have felt. Unable to be his authentic self, conditioned to despise his true identity, he constantly had to pretend. Suddenly, I felt a strong urge to talk to him.
When I visited him later that night, I knew that our friendship would be forever changed by this revelation. I had taken the first step by processing most of my feelings towards his homosexuality. However, I still felt a lingering unease within myself. There was a nagging fear that if I dwelled too much on the topic, his gayness might somehow infect me or, even scarier, expose something already there. But if I wanted to preserve our friendship, no matter how apprehensive I felt, I had to confront these fears.
And I am grateful that I did. This journey of understanding and acceptance has transformed me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. My friend was not only delighted that our bond remained as strong as before, but he was also thrilled that I showed a genuine interest in better comprehending homosexuality. Through him, I was introduced to his gay friends, which expanded my awareness. I discovered that several friends from high school were also gay, yet I had remained unaware throughout our teenage years. This influx of knowledge shattered many of my misconceptions about homosexuality. However, dispelling my fears and prejudices required more than just acquiring knowledge—it demanded the courage to challenge my beliefs. This educational process led me to the following conclusions about homosexuality.
Hostility towards homosexuality largely stems from insecurity and ignorance. Prejudice against gay individuals is not grounded in rational reasoning. It primarily arises from feelings of insecurity, driven by a deep fear of potentially being or becoming gay ourselves. For some, close affection towards a friend of the same sex may amplify this concern. Others may be less consciously aware of it. Unfortunately, social attitudes towards homosexuality magnify these worries into a horror. Some respond by ridiculing or showing hostility towards gay individuals, hoping to reaffirm their heterosexuality. Others simply try to suppress any thoughts of homosexuality. This hostility towards gay people derives from ignorance. Shutting out homosexuality from our lives fosters the same fear and distrust of the unknown that has historically fueled hatred between different groups. Our prejudices against gay individuals will persist as long as they remain unfamiliar to us. Only through genuine interaction and understanding can we recognize that they are ordinary people, just like us.
Homosexuality is not contagious. Associating with gay individuals will not change one’s sexual orientation. Such interaction can only bring to light existing homosexual tendencies if they already exist. Personally, my understanding of homosexuality has strengthened rather than confused my own sexual identity. Reflecting deeply on this topic helped me solidify my beliefs. Had I been gay, this introspection would have simply aided in self-acceptance. Therefore, exposure to homosexuality does not alter our sexual identity; it only clarifies it.
Homosexuality is a valid form of love. What struck me most about learning about same-sex relationships is how similar they are to heterosexual ones in the emotions and experiences they involve. If you remove the names and pronouns, a description of a gay relationship is indistinguishable from a straight one. The advice I would offer to a gay man regarding romance is equally applicable to a straight woman. Witnessing the natural and beautiful nature of gay relationships convinced me that they are not perverse, corrupted, or misused expressions of sexuality. They are simply an alternative. Love exists within all individuals, and placing limitations on sexual contact to opposite sexes is at best arbitrary and at worst cruel to those who do not fit within this narrow framework. Especially in the demanding and often lonely environment of college, any form of genuine affection should be cherished. Rather than focusing on the participants, we should celebrate the existence of love itself.
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Critics of homosexuality argue that it may be personally fulfilling but socially undesirable because it disrupts the traditional family structure. They believe it should be discouraged to prevent the temptation of honest heterosexual individuals. However, there are two flaws in this argument. First, if family life truly is preferable, most people will naturally gravitate towards it. It is illogical to force someone into an unwanted lifestyle simply because they may enjoy it more. Second, many heterosexual couples today choose not to have families, and yet we do not persecute them, even though they also deviate from the traditional family model. Thus, the notion that homosexuality threatens the family unit is flawed.
Homosexuality is not a phase. Many heterosexual individuals believe that gay people choose their sexual orientation or are simply going through a temporary phase. This misconception is often used to justify discrimination, with the hope that it will eventually “correct” their homosexuality. However, it won’t. Every gay person I have spoken to about this matter knew they were gay from a young age and expects to remain so throughout their lives. While it is difficult to definitively determine the biological factors influencing sexual orientation, gay individuals universally regard their homosexuality as an integral part of their identity. Persecuting them will not induce a change in their sexual orientation; it will only cause them needless suffering.
Gay people do not obsess over sex. Homosexual individuals are often unfairly stereotyped as being hypersexual, sexually perverted, or even as child molesters. These harmful stereotypes lack a factual basis. Studies have shown that gay people are statistically less likely to commit child molestation than their heterosexual counterparts. Additionally, there is no evidence to suggest that gay individuals are more violent or mentally unstable. Sexual orientation is just one aspect of a person’s life. The gay people I know prioritize academics, extracurricular activities, and friendships above their sexual experiences. When we shift our focus away from private lives and instead recognize individuals based on their personalities and interests, we will be able to view this issue in its proper perspective.
The gay stereotype is damaging. The most significant revelation that shattered my preconceptions was realizing just how common homosexuality is. Studies consistently estimate that around 10 percent of the population identifies as LGBTQ+. This means there are approximately 20 to 25 million gay individuals in the United States alone. Initially, this figure seemed improbable to me because so few people I knew fit the stereotypical image of a gay person. However, I soon realized that the vast majority of gay individuals do not conform to that image. They come from all walks of life and have nothing in common aside from their sexual orientation. Only a small percentage of gay people feel comfortable openly expressing their sexuality. It is crucial to recognize the diversity within this community and comprehend that many of our friends may be among them. Failure to do so will perpetuate prejudiced attitudes.
The religious argument against homosexuality is hypocritical. Amongst the thousands of laws and regulations found within the Old Testament is a verse stating, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination” (Leviticus 18:22). For some, this statement serves as sufficient moral justification for condemning homosexuality. However, this selective usage of religious teachings is evident. The same book of the Bible also instructs men not to harvest the corners of their fields and to avoid physical contact with women for eight days following menstruation. Yet, we consider these regulations to be outdated and choose to ignore them. Rules regarding homosexuality and masturbation have historically played a role in maintaining population growth. However, in a time where overpopulation is a concern, these rules should be regarded as obsolete. The issue of birth control provides a similar example. A literal interpretation of the Bible forbids its use, yet we do not persecute those who rely on it. In fact, many individuals who condemn homosexuality as ungodly are themselves users of birth control. This double standard is a prime example of hypocritical behavior.
Gay individuals face oppression. The early life of every gay person is filled with taunts and slurs like “fag” and “queer.” This constant negativity instills self-hatred in them. Accepting their homosexuality becomes an emotional burden. Even when a gay person musters the courage to come out, they often face rejection from friends and family. Society brands them as misguided or mentally ill, subjecting them to harassment, ridicule, and sometimes even physical violence. Even if a gay individual is accepted by their loved ones, they still encounter widespread discrimination. They can legally be denied employment, housing, credit, and public accommodations. In every state, they are disqualified from teaching positions. In each case, their suitability is judged not based on their qualifications, but on their private life.
The situation at universities like Harvard needs improvement. While there have been steps towards progress, such as the recent motion recommending a non-discrimination clause in university policies, there is still much work to be done. Instances of institutional discrimination, like the denial of access to student registration packets for the Gay Students Association, highlight the existing barriers. The administration is not solely responsible; some students deface or tear down posters advertising gay and lesbian events. In the past, students have hurled insults and food at those celebrating GLAD in dining halls. Shockingly, one student was physically assaulted solely because of his homosexuality while cleaning up after a gay/lesbian dance. This level of abuse is difficult to comprehend in an educated community like ours. As a leading university, such behavior should be unacceptable. It is time for heterosexual individuals to recognize that change is necessary. We are the cause of the suffering experienced by gay people. Our attitudes foster guilt, shame, and loneliness among them, and our actions instill fear and alienation. As the majority, we possess the power to transform this situation. We must publicly support gay rights and privately acknowledge that we know gay people. By shifting our attitudes, even in subtle ways like altering how we refer to them, we can make gay individuals feel better about themselves and foster an environment where everyone can freely benefit from the talents and energy of this incredible community.
Nathan S. Szanton ’83 resides in South House.
Source: https://t-tees.com
Category: WHY
