Why Is Once Upon A Deadpool Unavailable

Life’s hard if you’re an under 18 Deadpool fan. Fox has made two movies starring the merc with a mouth and both of them have been hard R extravaganzas filled with blood, nudity, cursing, and lots of sex. For the handful of teen Deadpool fans out there that wouldn’t follow in Wade’s footsteps by sneaking into an R-rated flick or sneak a peek at the unedited movie on VOD, you’ve been out of luck. No Ryan Reynolds making sexy times with Morena Baccarin for you!

That’s where Once Upon a Deadpool comes in, a holiday gift given from Fox to all the families out there that are fine with Deadpool in theory, as long as there’s slightly less gore, butts, and f-bombs. Also it was a way for Fox to keep the DP train a-chuggin’ along after the sequel’s impressive $318 million domestic haul. The re-edit had one goal: get the wildly inappropriate for all-ages Deadpool 2 down to at most a PG-13 rating. Once Upon a Deadpool opened up in theaters on December 12, 2018 and added another $6 million to DP2‘s box office gross. And now you can stream this alternate cut on HBO GO, listed as one of the “extras” on the Deadpool 2 movie page. But here’s the big question: is Once Upon a Deadpool worth watching if you’ve already seen the R-rated version?

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The short answer: nah, unless you’re a big Fred Savage fan.

Once Upon justifies its existence by framing the toned down version as a story Deadpool tells a captive, pants-less, tied-up Fred Savage. The whole thing is a riff on The Princess Bride, including Savage’s jersey and the entire bedroom set from the cult classic ’80s film. And Deadpool being Deadpool, the movie makes the whole premise explicitly clear by giving Deadpool a little bleep machine to bleep out all the objectionable words.

So, how does Once Upon a Deadpool accomplish the seemingly impossible task of turning down the raunch to a PG-13 level? Answer: a whole lot of editing. I know, because I watched Deadpool 2 and Once Upon a Deadpool side-by-side! Here are the differences:

The framing device is present throughout, with ‘Pool and Fred doing riffs on the movie, the censorship, comics canon, all of it. The funniest part of this is Savage’s savage comeback to Deadpool saying that he deserves some respect because he’s in a Marvel movie: “Yeah, but produced by Fox, which is like the Beatles being produced by Nickelback.”

20th Century Fox Licensing/Merch

The opening credits sequence featuring Celine Dion’s theme song “Ashes” is removed entirely. Before Deadpool attempts suicide by lighting a whole lot of barrels of gasoline on fire, he jumps into a pit of polar bears and then shoots himself while sitting on a park bench with some old people holding balloons. There’s a new scene at the X-Mansion between a mid-rehabilitation/recovery Wade and Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio. There’s also an additional scene of Colossus turning down Wade’s offer to join him on his mission to save Firefist and fight Juggernaut. Also, Deadpool’s Winnie the Pooh-style baby bottom is blurred out, and Juggernaut’s butt flap was removed from his, uh, shocking battle scene. This is Once Upon a Deadpool summed up:

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Photos: HBO GO

The rest of the movie is edited here and there, getting the runtime down slightly from the original’s. The fight scenes are all nipped and tucked, especially the highly bloody opening shoot out. Some fight scenes, particularly the melee at the orphanage, are re-edited to lower the intensity. And because Deadpool wears a full face mask, it makes all of his R-rated expletives very easy to tone down with re-recorded dialogue.

Honestly Once Upon a Deadpool delivers on its promise. It’s Deadpool 2 with no butt cracks and sanitized wisecracks. Is that fun to watch? Maybe if you’re the rare Deadpool fan that loves the character but hates over-the-top violence? It is at least fun to see Fred Savage spar with the merc in the framing device, and now HBO GO lets you fast-forward through the rest of the movie so you can see DP riff on Princess Bride. That’s about it, though. There’s a reason why Once Upon a Deadpool is listed as an extra for Deadpool 2. It definitely isn’t a substitute for that raucous and debaucherous viewing experience, but it is a fun little extra to speed through if you want a little more Deadpool.

Stream Once Upon a Deadpool on HBO GO

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